what happened to the happy girl I used to be? did she die alongside the empty beer bottles and jail visits? I wish I could go back and warn myself that you are not the man I thought you were. I looked up to you, I loved you. now at age 16 and a set of scars to prove your love was fake, I now understand why you left. I was too much stress, you couldn't handle me. hell I can't handle me either. no matter how badly you've treated me, I still cared. when you had a heart attack I wanted to lend you mine in hopes to heal your broken one. now I want to reach my fist inside your chest and rip the remaining sliver out myself. and I know that sounded harsh but you cannot expect me to be okay with your decisions. you ruined any chance of me ever being loved. any chance of me being free. i do not trust boys who bring me flowers because even being struck by petals can hurt.