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I have never been in love. I thought I loved someone but it turns out, I have to love myself before I can love someone else. I cannot listen to him paint pictures of how beautiful he thinks I am while contemplating skipping meals he painted his love in swooping lovely strokes pretty words filling in the white spaces but every stroke every word the more the canvas was covered the more empty I felt. I couldn't listen or believe him because I felt that would make me less pretty I must be the shy vulnerable girl that I believed every man wants I couldn't see myself as beautiful when I thought I loved him. piece by piece I’m repairing myself. I’m learning to look in the mirror without turning away I’m learning it is alright for me to attach beauty to my body. I still skip meals I still feel sad but I am learning I am worth more more than the words he assigned me more than how I look. I think I’m starting to love myself the words kind and smart mean more than cute maybe when I finally stop seeing food as failure and the mirror as a monster can I start to love someone else because I I have never been in love.
0
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 11:13 AM UTC
I Have Never Been in Love
I have never been in love. I thought I loved someone but it turns out, I have to love myself before I can love someone else. I cannot listen to him paint pictures of how beautiful he thinks I am while contemplating skipping meals he painted his love in swooping lovely strokes pretty words filling in the white spaces but every stroke every word the more the canvas was covered the more empty I felt. I couldn't listen or believe him because I felt that would make me less pretty I must be the shy vulnerable girl that I believed every man wants I couldn't see myself as beautiful when I thought I loved him. piece by piece I’m repairing myself. I’m learning to look in the mirror without turning away I’m learning it is alright for me to attach beauty to my body. I still skip meals I still feel sad but I am learning I am worth more more than the words he assigned me more than how I look. I think I’m starting to love myself the words kind and smart mean more than cute maybe when I finally stop seeing food as failure and the mirror as a monster can I start to love someone else because I I have never been in love.
#love#selflove#selfhate#lovemyself#neverbeeninlove
bulletproof
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bulletproof
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 11:13 AM UTC
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