#lovemyself
Words they dance on paper, as my body loses strength.
My mind it races onwards, as my soul feels it may fade.
This pen keeps on writing, as my heart forgets to beat.
Every time I open up, another piece of me is ripped from my story.
My binding is bent and worn, with every page torn.
Once I was a fantasy, a story they could not wait to see.
As they read right through me, skimming every page-
the words for volume two, slowly came to view.
Drafts are left unfinished, the story more diminished.
Lonely ink spots, point out the unraveling plots.
I can write all on my own but I wanted to collaborate,
each new character felt like a twist of fate.
I studied every line, every single quote.
Looking for deeper meaning, but in the end it's all they wrote.
No after word, no biography-
not a single explanation as to why they never chose me.
Here's my dedication, I should always put myself first.
I am the author and the story, never unversed.
As long as my words are still written, this light inside could never be fully hidden.
Bring me home, if you want to write in permanent ink, if you won't leave me to myself.
Those that cannot understand and truly love the novel I am, then please I ask all you borrowers, just leave me on the shelf.
Oct 18, 2024
Oct 18, 2024 at 5:54 PM UTC
As long as
The sky stays blue
I won't stop loving you
I may not get
The same love back,
And believe it or not
I do not expect to
Yes, I love you
But I love myself too
To get your love
I won't give me to you
My love for you,
I'll keep it in my heart
I will love myself more
And have a new start
Sep 17, 2024
Sep 17, 2024 at 9:01 AM UTC
In shadows deep, where sorrows bloom,
A heartache lingers, a soul's dark tomb.
He asked me why I don't love myself,
Said, "I am tired of life, everyday."
A melancholy melody in the night,
Echoing woes, wrapped in pale moonlight.
His eyes, windows to a desolate sea,
Lost in the abyss of his own decree.
The world, a weight upon his soul,
Every step, an agonizing toll.
He questioned why self-love would stay,
In life's relentless, bleak ballet.
I spoke of dreams, like shattered glass,
Of moments gone, too fleet to grasp.
In the tapestry of time, threads fray,
A tired soul, in shadows, does sway.
Yet, in the weariness of his plea,
A symphony of sorrow, hauntingly free.
For love, a mirage in the distant mist,
A fragile hope, by pain kissed.
I painted verses in never ending rhymes,
Of beauty lost in the passage of time.
In nature's embrace, a mournful song,
Where the echoes of joy had grown strong.
"Embrace the self," I whispered, so frail,
In the silence, where heartbeats pale.
Life's weariness, an unending maze,
A tragic ballet, through sorrow's haze.
The soul whispers, the night descends,
A requiem for love, as darkness transcends.
He asked why I don't love myself,
I answered, "Dear friend, in sadness, delve."
Feb 1, 2024
Feb 1, 2024 at 9:04 PM UTC
Love is such a wonderful thing,
It's like the lovely afternoon spring.
But love is not something that can magically heal me,
I'm sorry, but you're love won't set me free.
I have tried so hard to learn to love who I am,
But I've begun to give up and I hardly give a ****
I know I can't properly heal until I can love me,
But it's like I'm stuck behind a door with the wrong key.
I wish I was able to see myself like you do,
But I see myself through such a negative view.
Aug 11, 2020
Aug 11, 2020 at 9:37 PM UTC
I'm happy.
I am happy.
You left me;
And, I thought I would be broken without you,
But I learned that I was miserable with you.
I swear,
Don't ever come back.
It was the only thing you ever did
That didn't hurt me.
If you do,
When you do,
It will tell me
You never loved me.
Jul 5, 2020
Jul 5, 2020 at 8:46 PM UTC
Chameleon
That's what they call me
But I change so much, I forgot what colour I started with
Chameleon
That's what they call me
I can be anything that they want me to be, but I will be who I wanna be
Underneath it all
When the colours flow
Underneath it all
I'm a rainbow
Underneath it all
There's a place to go
Chameleon
Chameleon
I feel them watching
Yeah, I'll give them the show
They say I'm crazy
But they don't really know me
I hear them talking
But I'm deaf while I soar
The sky is falling
After rains, I explode
Underneath it all
When the colours flow
Underneath it all
I'm a rainbow
Underneath it all
There's a place to go
Chameleon
They wanna build me up
They wanna nip and tuck me
But who I am is enough
I know I'll always love me for me,
Underneath it all
When the colours flow
Underneath it all
I'm a rainbow
Underneath it all
There's a place to go
Chameleon
May 11, 2020
May 11, 2020 at 11:56 AM UTC
Loved you without no intention
The way you swayed me
And stirred my heart
Why were you so kind
And where's the you I came to love
At that time
The times you taught me how to love
The times I come to love you more than myself
Thank you for the times I come to know about love,
Because of you
And now that I come to love myself
Thank you too
Mar 24, 2020
Mar 24, 2020 at 2:59 PM UTC
If I give up today
I did it for me
Maybe because
It was too much to handle
Something other than me
And bed become
A friend to depend on and on
Mar 8, 2020
Mar 8, 2020 at 9:28 AM UTC
I have good days as well as bad
I'm still learning to love myself how I am
Self love is an everyday battle
But it's a battle that I refuse to lose
~sdr
Jan 10, 2020
Jan 10, 2020 at 2:47 PM UTC
She was as beautiful as the stars in the night sky
What a shame she could not see the beauty she possessed
For self love was a foreign concept to her
~sdr
Jan 10, 2020
Jan 10, 2020 at 2:43 PM UTC
If you're hurt, let it hurt today.
Cry over silly reasons.
Hold your breath for a while.
Then, only then, you'll be able to let go.
Nov 25, 2019
Nov 25, 2019 at 10:25 PM UTC
wind left me with saturated moisture
to rain down what I have condensed to
rain left me with prism of life
to color my thoughts in rainbow shades
winter left me with melting rivers
to let me grow in blooming spring
moon left me with rising dawn
to find myself in the light of day
nature left me ways to live
and ways that I could be myself
I know that now I don't have me
and all have changed
I only had u in me and
yeah, I lost who was me
to the one and only precious you
I finally found why you left
so I could find and love myself
from u where I lost myself
Aug 7, 2019
Aug 7, 2019 at 11:30 AM UTC
“Why would I
Even like her?”
You asked
Your voice ringing in my ears
Though your words were no more
Than letters on a screen.
******
In case you’re wondering
Your question is still floating
Aimlessly around my mind.
But I owe you
No apology
For being.
Unconventional,
Different,
Fire.
I owe you
No warmth,
Burn.
May 10, 2019
May 10, 2019 at 12:48 AM UTC
I never wonder what it would be like for me to not have my disease
But I do wonder what it would be like to be someone without it
What it would be like to not miss school to see a doctor whose specialty my classmates can't even spell
What it would be like not to take a pill every morning
What it would be like to not face the repercussions of not taking my pill one morning
What it would be like not to pay for the Synthroid
What it would be like to not know anything about it
I think it would be quite ordinary
I think I would be weaker for it
not being able to endure the symptoms
I think I would have less initiative
Not having to take my pill for myself at a young age
I think I would be less curious
Not wanting to know more about myself
I think I'm better off for it
I know more about myself
I know more about the world around me
I know more about perseverance
I know more about medicine
I know more about budgeting
I know more about individuality
I would never want for me to not have my disease
I'm a better person for it
Feb 20, 2019
Feb 20, 2019 at 9:10 PM UTC
Wake up and breath deeper!
Stand up and raise my head higher!
Grateful and rekindle the fire!
Remember my roots and work harder!
Oct 30, 2018
Oct 30, 2018 at 6:15 AM UTC
Mixing ***** and juices,
On Tuesday morning, Monday night,
The parents are asleep.
The stars are so bright.
My body is a temple,
You're **** right.
If it feels good enough,
I'll respect it tonight.
Bandage my chest,
Hurts my ribcage,
I’m a ******* kid,
Shouldn't have to be brave.
You should've been a brother,
Should've got the name right,
Should've been her son,
Instead I'm drinking tonight.
Sep 11, 2018
Sep 11, 2018 at 2:30 AM UTC
the scars of tomorrow will forever
be see through on my skin
the dark circles on my eyes
where i stayed up all night crying
but i knew somehow
that after winter there’s spring
after the coldness there is the warmness of you
and when millions of arrows are
aiming on me I know
i’ll never ever back out
because i’ve been real
catching the stars above
gave me my shield
and the ocean waves
became my kingdom
you showed me a different way of life
you showed me how to love myself
because you gave me the best
of you and
that’s the only
reassurance
that i
will ever
need
Aug 25, 2018
Aug 25, 2018 at 8:52 PM UTC
With gratitude to failures and to pain,
Good fortune from descent to the abyss,
With clarity from living life insane,
And headlong tumble from the precipice.
With thanks to heartbreaks gone from bad to worse,
And tears that washed away my will to live,
For times my good intentions were a curse,
All that was bad had something good to give.
From loving wrong more times than I can count,
I now have learned to finally love right.
My darkest days are lessons paramount—
Thank you darkness for showing me the light.
What’s the worst thing to ever befall me?
Nothing if I love who I’ve come to be.
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 3:27 PM UTC
Remember,
You have a heart
Even if
It has scars
Or
Feels weak.
Even though it doesn't beat
Or stops for anyone.
Doesn't mean you don't have a heart.
You are still sane
You do love.
You do care.
You just love too much
That it ends up
Killing you from
The inside
And out.
You love until
You feel like you can't anymore.
And in time
Someone will do the same thing to you.
And
It probably already happened.
Someone's heart has beaten
And stopped for you.
You are loved
And
Cared for.
Even if you don't know it.
You are loved.
Even when you can't love yourself.
Aug 21, 2018
Aug 21, 2018 at 12:51 PM UTC
I have never changed,
Even though it seems like that
I have been changing constantly.
But it’s only because I have to leave
Everything holding me back.
I said goodbye to the society,
Which takes away my dreams.
I said goodbye to the society,
Which tells me that I am wrong most of the time.
My soul has been away from my physical body
Since I was a little kid.
My physical body left my family
When I was 16 years old.
I thought I took my soul with me,
But actually,
My soul has been traveling around the world
Without me.
I said goodbye to my peers,
Who are too childish and selfish.
I said goodbye to ignorant people,
Who are lazy and close-minded.
Now I have a strong network of
Kind, Helpful, Open-Minded, Hardworking,
And Smart people.
Who Inspire, Care, and Act.
They teach and remind me to love myself,
And they love and support me.
I am still alive
Not only because I have never given up,
But also because of everyone I have met in my life.
People who love and support me.
People who hate and destroy me.
I am thankful for having all of you in my life.
Because of all the contradictions and differences,
I know who I am and what I want.
Because of all of you,
I have the courage to say goodbye to
Everything holding me back.
Nov 25, 2017
Nov 25, 2017 at 6:15 AM UTC
i feel too much
i love too much
i forgive too much
i'm good too much
Dec 28, 2017
Dec 28, 2017 at 3:45 AM UTC
ALL I'VE EVER WANTED
WAS TO LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF
Dec 6, 2015
Dec 6, 2015 at 3:52 PM UTC
I have never been in love.
I thought I loved someone
but it turns out, I have to love myself before I can love someone else.
I cannot listen to him paint pictures of how beautiful he thinks I am
while contemplating skipping meals
he painted his love in swooping lovely strokes
pretty words filling in the white spaces
but every stroke
every word
the more the canvas was covered
the more empty I felt.
I couldn't listen or believe him
because I felt that would make me less pretty
I must be the shy vulnerable girl
that I believed every man wants
I couldn't see myself as beautiful
when I thought I loved him.
piece by piece
I’m repairing myself.
I’m learning to look in the mirror without turning away
I’m learning it is alright for me to attach beauty to my body.
I still skip meals
I still feel sad
but I am learning I am worth more
more than the words he assigned me
more than how I look.
I think I’m starting to love myself
the words kind and smart mean more than cute
maybe when I finally stop seeing food as failure
and the mirror as a monster
can I start to love someone else
because I
I have never been in love.
Nov 26, 2015
Nov 26, 2015 at 11:13 AM UTC
I am free
Free as a bee
Free to be.
Whoever I say
Is me.
I can be by myself
I am strong.
Stronger than the gust of wind trying to knock me down.
Stronger than the comments of society that say I can't do it.
Stronger than the fear within us all try to rip out our hearts and tear through us.
Stronger than I ever needed to be,
Because I wanted to be.
I am content.
Content with my life and the way I'm living it, which is probably different than yours.
Content with my body so that when I walk by in the dress that I bought because it was on sale and cute as hell and you make comments, I smile and say it's great isn't it?
Content with the family I have, and the friends I surround myself with.
Content with the job I have, whether or not I have people who treat me like a dog because I'm a server.
I'm content with my late night Netflix binges, and my early morning runs.
I'm content with life.
I'm mentally independent.
Independent enough that I know at the end of the day I just need me.
Independent enough to know that I can be there for myself.
Independent enough that being there for others is a great joy and privilege.
Independent enough that I can go eat at a restaurant alone.
Independent enough that I can spend my own money on myself.
I don't NEED anyone.
If you're in my life, it's by choice.
I WANT you there.
So don't lose that privilege.
I've gotten rid of people who didn't appreciate me and who left me out to dry.
Don't think you're an exception.
You wanna be in my life?
Show me.
Sep 24, 2015
Sep 24, 2015 at 11:42 AM UTC