Sometimes, when I’m watching TV
Covered in my own filth
And feeling sorry for myself
I step in somebody else’s shoes
I wonder how it feels to flip channels
Mindlessly, (a viewer expecting no harm)
and stumble upon a show that’s called…
fuck, I can’t remember.
featuring some reporter
whose name I can’t recall
but it’s not important,
and this reporter is sitting in some sleazy hotel room,
when in bursts a gentleman dressed in a
dirty red trucker’s hat
hunter’s vest
plaid shirt
worn jeans
and boots
who’s just arrived to claim the virginity of a 12 year old girl
who’s sold it to him on the internet and he’s travelled all this way
only to find a camera crew and that reporter
from 20/20 or some shit like that
waiting to catch him.
And they’ve caught him and it’s the third time
he’s pulled this
and now he’s exposed for the world to see
and they hate him and I hate him too.
I wonder how it feels to be you, viewer
who was molested in the 3rd grade
by your 23 year old step-brother
who had already ruined 4 other kids lives
and now this show, you feel, has just exposed you for
all the world to see
because you feel dirty walking down the streets
and the hottest shower on earth couldn’t get you clean
and your scar has been lashed open, fresh once again
and you used to love chocolate milk but now you want gin
and the first bite contorts your face into a distorted grin,
you don’t even like it but it does the job
keeps the powder dry
keeps any tears from escaping your eyes
you want to let your boyfriend touch you but you can’t
because he has hands and hands do bad things
I realize that what pity I have is generally
Wasted
on myself.
I am selfish.
I won’t be anymore.