“Remember
Remember
The fifth of November...”
Opportunity grew
Like a dandelion in a cracked
Sidewalk.
I had no idea how life would go on,
But dirty dishes continued
Getting washed,
Wind kept blowing,
And cups of tea
Still were made.
It’s only a couple of days shy
Of a year
Since I tried to
Take my own life.
It’s been the best year of my life.
There are still parts of that night
I don’t remember...
I do remember the days following.
How every
Single
Part
If my body
Just ached,
Like nothing I had ever felt before.
And it felt as if
Nothing would ever
Get better,
That I could never be
Better.
“Remember
Remember
The fifth of November,
The gun powder treason
And plot.”
But it did.
The feeling of being in way over my head
Has hardly ever gone away,
Yet things still keep being okay.
The world changed,
And I changed right along side it.
I woke up the morning after,
And I woke up a little more
Each morning following that one.
The decision had been so
Matter of fact...
“I am going to kill myself later tonight.”
I walked down the street through the crunching leaves.
“I have to remember to hug everyone when I say goodbye,
Because I am going to kill myself tonight.”
And the thought had been such a relief.
Imagining letting go,
Was such a relief.
And deciding to take my
Second chance
Was also
So natural,
And obvious.
I built a life
I like.
I made myself
Someone I wanted to be.
I took what I wanted to be an end,
And made it a new beginning.
“I can think of no reason
The gun powder treason
Should ever
Be forgot.”
I remember,
Yes,
I remember,
The fifth of November.