when i think of your soft sleepy smile
looking across the pillow at me at 4am,
i wanna kick you in the throat
i hate you so much-
there was a time when your eyes
made my insides glow
you played me a thousand miles
while i sat smoking on your floor
but you have done more damage to my lungs
than any cigarette could
it's as if you held a magnifying glass
to all my flaws
and one by one
they've torn me down
there are times still
when i look at my body
and shy away
sometimes,
i can't look at my own face
but i am done blaming myself
you are a lost cause
your ship sank so low
the ocean floor can't hold you
let me say,
i would rather stub my toe
every second of every day
than see your face again
there are nights
where i scream "thank you"
at the top of my battered lungs
because thanks to you
i know
that i am worth more
than cigarettes
on your bedroom floor.