So this is how I want to describe how I really feel about all this mess.
I want to reconcile but I just can't imagine what if the same thing happen again.
By the same thing I mean those direct insults, insensitive jokes, stupid comments, clingy moments and annoying disturbance.
I thought you'll know that I don't like what you did if I'll just keep quiet and ignore you a little but you didn't seem to get it.
I thought you'll find out eventually and try to change.
Until one day you've decided to confront me.
That day I thought you know that you are trying to make me do something impossible. Something that I don't like. Tell you the painful hideous truth with my own lips.
YES I AM ANGRY AT YOU ALL THIS TIME. NO IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF THE ANONYMOUS PERSON IN ASK.FM. YES I DON'T REALLY LIKE YOU. YES I REGRET WHAT I DID LAST YEAR. YES I CAN'T SAY LOVE YOU LOTS BRO BECAUSE I SIMPLY DON'T. YES I CAN'T LIE TO MYSELF ANYMORE.
There it goes.
But I'm a normal human, I know how that feels like.
I know we have to be nice to people, think about how they would feel if we do something, take care of them like how we want to be taken care of.
I've thought of that.
That's why I didn't told you all that.
And by the way I thought we reconciled already since I texted you saying how sorry I am. And how mean I've been. How insensitive I've been.
But that's okay.
It's not like you have to think of changing yourself for everyone else, including me. It seems like everyone have to accept you.