Loneliness is all I know.
It's pervasive
With creeping tendrils
Of despair.
It haunts my days
And disturbs my nights.
I feel the nights grow longer
And watch sleep
As it passes me by.
It slips through my fingers
Like the sands of time
Blowing away on an icy breeze.
My tears freeze before they reach the surface;
And my blood runs cold.
The emptiness engulfs my soul
It's almost enough
To make me whole.
Little silver fills the void;
She makes my blood boil,
And draws crimson emotion to the surface.
She's with me no matter what;
I see reminders of her upon my skin,
And know that I am truly alone.
I'd cry if I could,
But my tears are still frozen.
I'd stop if I could
But my pain is stronger than my will.
There's a beauty in the grotesque
That escapes so many people.
There's a terrifying freedom
In destruction.
Destruction is creation
And I've created much.
There's a horrifying beauty
In the scars upon my skin;
They remind me of what I tried to do
And what I could've been.
I've created memories
That I cannot share
You see . . .
What I've created
Is more than I can bear.
Outside looking in;
Separate,
And never whole.
My story tears my heart asunder
And sets me apart from those who love me.
I cannot let anyone in;
I cannot let anyone out.
I cling to a thread that's already been broken;
A thread that I took the scissors to a long time ago.
I'm floating away
Wishing for something stable to attach myself to.
I grasp at straws
To no avail.
I cry out
Without a sound.
My heart is breaking
And it's breaking me down.