you played our song
in the aftermath of a heated discussion between close, close
lips and tongues
you were taller there
and I was tucked beneath you, in the crook of your arm and chest
warm and immovable
our song struck its notes
and together we sang it, both voices barely reaching audience
but in such clarity to our ears
only my voice caught
about halfway through, as I thought of you, and where we were headed
to the end of our lives, I hoped
and I sobbed to
the crook of your neck, in joyous foresight of our years as two to come,
racking my breast
you were worried
my tears scared you, in case I cried for reasons of hurt to my heart, but
my heart only hurt
because it was close
to bursting with overwhelming feeling, spilling over, a flood, a tidal wave
streaming from my eyes
my gratitude to
your existence, to any God for granting me you, your warm body and
freckled flesh
a hundred thousand
knives of love slammed through my ribs, into yours, turned to needles, sew
us into forever
I want to do
it all with you; the growing, adulthood, children, a house, our futures
I want them combined
till you wrinkle
and your freckles sink, and I kiss them with lined lips, and smile with
old eyes at you
for the longest time
possible, and I feel this is not just a hope, but a certainty, and that this
is what life is for me
and that is what
made me sob, into your body, and deeper still, because I know my life
is set with you
and how can I
be happier? than in the moment when I realised this, like being dunked
in the coldest water
it is a certainty
and I cried for it, for I know I am fulfilled, even in that one brief moment
of our youngest years
youth does nothing
to stem the flow of tears, it provides the richest nutrition, and I am not blind
but eyes wide open
my fairytale exists
and he is warm, bone and blood and beating soul, beside me, and I know
he is forever
and the way you
held me while I cried, and carried on existing, a certain smell and quietly
living, is how
I know our
connection is more than any can understand, and you squeezed back
as I clutched your hand