Wasted Submission

I crave safety To be protected Someone who I can trust with my softness and my gentleness With my kindness My empathy I'm so exhausted By my independence My strong will I don't want to be self sufficient My bones ache from my strength All of the figuring things out And making things happen Has left me with a constant headache My lips are bleeding from sharp words My hands ache from holding my own Where is someone who will protect me Who will hold my delicate parts in their strong hands I am so small. So delicate. So hurt. It has made me so hard. So loud. I want to make lunches and dinners And clean a house where I dont have to pay half the bills but do all the work Marry me pasta and fresh baked bread Lunches with multiple parts and love notes tucked in the bag I need to be put on my knees when I need to be there but picked up when I've put myself there I have so much submission inside me Trust that I hold tight to my chest Faith that I've tucked away for fairer weather Love that I keep giving then stealing back There is so much empty space within me There waiting to hold on to secrets whispered to me in the dark To catch tears in moments of vulnerability My hands are small but so capable Of washing hair after a long day Or sewing on buttons that have been lost I'm not perfect I should be kept in line I've been so far from right for so long Left unattended and unchecked A watchful eye and a stern tone could change me Wildness is born from neglect I am a stray cat hoping for a warm lap and a gentle hand Loyalty is a foundation built by a steady hand A commanding tone that is all encompassing instead of harsh Eyes that see deeper than what is offered on the surface Attention that is reciprocated instead of earned I can beg so beautifully when I want to But I will not beg for things that I want To belong to someone is to also be owned by them Not kept by them Or indebted to them Belonging is a gift that is given and received I've held on and I've let go and I have begged and I have denied I want to receive what I've been giving Not give what I've been receiving I am an artfully posed photo of longing Waiting for someone with the patience to develope it Save me And I will give you everything

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OneOfTheTiredSouls

27 / F

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