I told you already
I hate myself.
I said it plain,
not dressed up for help.
I told you I’m sad,
not once, not light
I meant all of it.
I meant it right.
You know how small things
get under my skin,
how everything echoes,
how loud it gets in.
So why don’t you ask?
Why don’t you try?
Why won’t you look me
straight in the eye?
You see me not eating.
You see the new band.
You know what that means
you understand.
You know me better
than anyone else.
You’ve heard every version
of how I felt.
So don’t act distant,
don’t act unaware
you see it happening.
You know it’s there.
I’m not even subtle.
I’m barely okay.
I’m right here in front of you,
fading each day.
And you, my best friend
just say nothing, stay gone.
Like silence is easier
to sit in than wrong.
I feel alone.
That’s the truth.
And it hurts more
because it’s you.