Long nights
Moments that never end
Always wanting to be one of the guys
To be comfortable in my own skin
I'm learning how to be friends
Amidst the fear of attachment
To people I don't want to
Traumatically lose again
But with all the doors open
Flinging more open everyday
I welcome more in
And let the feelings out
I'm so afraid to live
But I'm not afraid to die
I think that's what lets me
Be so reckless. Brave?
I'll still keep on moving
So I don't lose
Sometimes I might decide
To let others win
Win my trust, respect
Maybe my loyalty
And other things, but
Probably not my love.