Today I was accused to being a bad influence yet again,
Simply because I facilitate the forbidden wants/needs of the people I love,
Simply because I give them a place to get high and vent without being judged,
Simply because I create an aura where they feel free to express themselves in whatever ways they like- modest, humble even ******
And simply because the ones they love refuse to facilitate their haram (forbidden).
Haram is bad – we all know this
But being human is about passing through all things good and all things bad.
Being a Muslim, most of my choices are haram;
Not properly attired to the laws of my religion,
My speech is not of a young lady with modesty- rather it is defined with sheer profanity,
I rather laugh from my heart even though it’s supposedly a ****** act,
I refuse to lower my gaze around men; the same men that stole from me
The same men that refused to lower their gaze from me.
I deny myself the potential for love because of the expectation of great dismay
And I drown myself with the 34000 thoughts of what if??!
This poem is becoming a disaster; my thoughts aren’t flowing straight,
I went from bad influence to haram to rebellious to depressing;
What the **** is this **** going on inside my head- it aches with great displeasure.
How do I contain my contradicting self?
Someone help me please, my soul is crying and sobbing for something to fill this void-
The void that is desperately trying to full itself with the acceptance of the people who are hell bent on not accepting me.
Why am I like this? A contradicting ******* disaster
-fir.m
Sep 22, 2020
Sep 22, 2020 at 3:12 PM UTC
Today I was accused to being a bad influence yet again,
Simply because I facilitate the forbidden wants/needs of the people I love,
Simply because I give them a place to get high and vent without being judged,
Simply because I create an aura where they feel free to express themselves in whatever ways they like- modest, humble even ******
And simply because the ones they love refuse to facilitate their haram (forbidden).
Haram is bad – we all know this
But being human is about passing through all things good and all things bad.
Being a Muslim, most of my choices are haram;
Not properly attired to the laws of my religion,
My speech is not of a young lady with modesty- rather it is defined with sheer profanity,
I rather laugh from my heart even though it’s supposedly a ****** act,
I refuse to lower my gaze around men; the same men that stole from me
The same men that refused to lower their gaze from me.
I deny myself the potential for love because of the expectation of great dismay
And I drown myself with the 34000 thoughts of what if??!
This poem is becoming a disaster; my thoughts aren’t flowing straight,
I went from bad influence to haram to rebellious to depressing;
What the **** is this **** going on inside my head- it aches with great displeasure.
How do I contain my contradicting self?
Someone help me please, my soul is crying and sobbing for something to fill this void-
The void that is desperately trying to full itself with the acceptance of the people who are hell bent on not accepting me.
Why am I like this? A contradicting ******* disaster
-fir.m
