I want to scream, I want to cry
This ache in my chest is so unbearable
I am so very not okay, and I just want to know why.
I was perfectly fine, not two days before
What was it that tipped the scales this time?
I just wish someone would notice
That I'm dying inside a little more every day
This ache that pulsates inside
It's driving me insane
It's not something I can ignore, it occupies my every thought
Why, oh why, was I made this way?
My stomach churns and I want to hide
At this point, feeling pain is better anyway
This emptiness is saddening and not okay
But I nonetheless rake my nails over my skin, hoping to feel anew.
You’ve left me, love.
There’s nothing left of us here.
I’ve felt this a long time coming, but still it hurts now that I know you’re nowhere near.
You’re never coming back.
Of this much, I’m aware.
I just wish you could have noticed
My awful descent into this despair.
Would you have stayed, if you’d noticed?
I doubt it, I swear
You seem to have lost your care
For this, I despair.
I wish someone would notice
I’m drowning, I’m dying
I can’t seem to breathe.
“Keep going!”—instead I wheeze
Soft thoughts drift across my diamond mind
Unable to escape, this time.
I suppose it’s best that no one will notice.
I’m the strong one, I can’t afford to despair.
No one will notice, this I swear.
They mustn’t be aware of how very broken I am.
I’m here for them! I will never let them know
Vulnerability isn’t an option for me
My broken heart, mind, body—this, they will never see.
(Would they even care?)
“She’ll get through it, she’s stronger than this”
“I doubt she wants help, she likes doing things on her own”
(In the end, I seriously doubt it.)
(After all, we’re all drowning down here.)
Jul 2, 2019
Jul 2, 2019 at 4:16 PM UTC
I want to scream, I want to cry
This ache in my chest is so unbearable
I am so very not okay, and I just want to know why.
I was perfectly fine, not two days before
What was it that tipped the scales this time?
I just wish someone would notice
That I'm dying inside a little more every day
This ache that pulsates inside
It's driving me insane
It's not something I can ignore, it occupies my every thought
Why, oh why, was I made this way?
My stomach churns and I want to hide
At this point, feeling pain is better anyway
This emptiness is saddening and not okay
But I nonetheless rake my nails over my skin, hoping to feel anew.
You’ve left me, love.
There’s nothing left of us here.
I’ve felt this a long time coming, but still it hurts now that I know you’re nowhere near.
You’re never coming back.
Of this much, I’m aware.
I just wish you could have noticed
My awful descent into this despair.
Would you have stayed, if you’d noticed?
I doubt it, I swear
You seem to have lost your care
For this, I despair.
I wish someone would notice
I’m drowning, I’m dying
I can’t seem to breathe.
“Keep going!”—instead I wheeze
Soft thoughts drift across my diamond mind
Unable to escape, this time.
I suppose it’s best that no one will notice.
I’m the strong one, I can’t afford to despair.
No one will notice, this I swear.
They mustn’t be aware of how very broken I am.
I’m here for them! I will never let them know
Vulnerability isn’t an option for me
My broken heart, mind, body—this, they will never see.
(Would they even care?)
“She’ll get through it, she’s stronger than this”
“I doubt she wants help, she likes doing things on her own”
(In the end, I seriously doubt it.)
(After all, we’re all drowning down here.)
Everything hurts and I’m dying
But it’s fine
