emo-slytherin - Hello Poetry

When he left me, it hurt. Then all I felt was rage, I'll admit, at first. Clarity came last, for what it was worth. The more I reflect on us, the more I look The more I see, the further I gaze He was never perfect. All of the aches and the pain that he brought He didn't deserve the love I offered. His promises were a shiny veneer over plastic Made to look like precious metal, but underneath existed nothing of worth. He took his leave, he left of his own will Of this, I'm sure, was a blessing in disguise. The rose-colored-lenses have come off. I can finally see, now That he wasn't even good-- No... He was the worst. He tortured and played Pulled my strings, and I obeyed He wanted me to fall apart and put me back incorrectly So that when he failed, he could just leave Leave with no further explanation Not even a lie He simply left me with a pile of promises And finally, clear eyes. When he left me, I thought something in me died. Perhaps it did. But I think it was a good change, I won't lie. I don't miss him. This much, I can say is true. If anything, I rue the way things changed I wish I could have controlled it, how soon I shouldn't have gotten attached at all. No matter, anyway. I've overcome that pain, I've found someone new He actually wants me, of this I'm sure And because I'm finally over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, My freshly-healed wings are finally able to fly.

0

Aug 4, 2020

Aug 4, 2020 at 1:24 AM UTC

When He Left Me

When he left me, it hurt. Then all I felt was rage, I'll admit, at first. Clarity came last, for what it was worth. The more I reflect on us, the more I look The more I see, the further I gaze He was never perfect. All of the aches and the pain that he brought He didn't deserve the love I offered. His promises were a shiny veneer over plastic Made to look like precious metal, but underneath existed nothing of worth. He took his leave, he left of his own will Of this, I'm sure, was a blessing in disguise. The rose-colored-lenses have come off. I can finally see, now That he wasn't even good-- No... He was the worst. He tortured and played Pulled my strings, and I obeyed He wanted me to fall apart and put me back incorrectly So that when he failed, he could just leave Leave with no further explanation Not even a lie He simply left me with a pile of promises And finally, clear eyes. When he left me, I thought something in me died. Perhaps it did. But I think it was a good change, I won't lie. I don't miss him. This much, I can say is true. If anything, I rue the way things changed I wish I could have controlled it, how soon I shouldn't have gotten attached at all. No matter, anyway. I've overcome that pain, I've found someone new He actually wants me, of this I'm sure And because I'm finally over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, My freshly-healed wings are finally able to fly.

37

When it comes to these things, Woman is despised. Her *** is inferior in the face of man. Her body is disgraced and considered unholy, deemed "temptress" and "defiler". Why is this so? What benefit is there to the dichotomy of the ****** and the ***** Why is there only these two things which woman can aspire to? Why, when Woman is strong and steadfast as the mountain Who will not bow no matter how the wind howls! When Woman is as fierce as the flame that ripples in her heart and the searing heat of the volcano-- Why, then, is this language so? Wasteful, wanton Grotesque, sinful Disgusting, passive Unholy, sinful Why? Why, when her womb creates the very essence of life on earth, is her beauty scorned? Alas! Her very creations despise her existence The sons of her ***** lack reverence for their mothers For the very essence of Woman is taboo. The apex of her thighs is at once deeply coveted and sincerely ignored For there exists no greater shame than the moment her ***** first sheds its blood. That first splash of crimson and black is the end of her girlhood For once that first blood is drawn, her Womanhood cannot be denied. At that moment, she becomes Object No longer human, no longer girl She is Object To be coveted and have eyes laid upon her She is Object To be salivated over and seen as the ****** plaything of the Male Eye She is Object, and she is human no more. After the first emergence of ******* from her ribcage, the first rounding of her hips and thighs, She is no longer worthy of anything but lust and contempt For, it is certainly her fault that these sinful feelings arise. Why on earth would it be the fault of the toxic mindset of Man, of his instinct to pillage and take what is not his? Woman's body is her own, and yet, she is not treated so She is laughed at, mocked, and spoken to in rage Her rights of choice are threatened, soon to possibly go away What, in this, is there to learn? Why is our view of Woman so? The gleam of the Patriarchy is too enticing to those who would change And damning to those who refuse. But they should be very afraid. The righteous might of Woman is a force to be reckoned with. Because, after all... Hell hath no fury like a Woman scorned.

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Oct 29, 2019

Oct 29, 2019 at 2:47 AM UTC

On Being Woman

When it comes to these things, Woman is despised. Her *** is inferior in the face of man. Her body is disgraced and considered unholy, deemed "temptress" and "defiler". Why is this so? What benefit is there to the dichotomy of the ****** and the ***** Why is there only these two things which woman can aspire to? Why, when Woman is strong and steadfast as the mountain Who will not bow no matter how the wind howls! When Woman is as fierce as the flame that ripples in her heart and the searing heat of the volcano-- Why, then, is this language so? Wasteful, wanton Grotesque, sinful Disgusting, passive Unholy, sinful Why? Why, when her womb creates the very essence of life on earth, is her beauty scorned? Alas! Her very creations despise her existence The sons of her ***** lack reverence for their mothers For the very essence of Woman is taboo. The apex of her thighs is at once deeply coveted and sincerely ignored For there exists no greater shame than the moment her ***** first sheds its blood. That first splash of crimson and black is the end of her girlhood For once that first blood is drawn, her Womanhood cannot be denied. At that moment, she becomes Object No longer human, no longer girl She is Object To be coveted and have eyes laid upon her She is Object To be salivated over and seen as the ****** plaything of the Male Eye She is Object, and she is human no more. After the first emergence of ******* from her ribcage, the first rounding of her hips and thighs, She is no longer worthy of anything but lust and contempt For, it is certainly her fault that these sinful feelings arise. Why on earth would it be the fault of the toxic mindset of Man, of his instinct to pillage and take what is not his? Woman's body is her own, and yet, she is not treated so She is laughed at, mocked, and spoken to in rage Her rights of choice are threatened, soon to possibly go away What, in this, is there to learn? Why is our view of Woman so? The gleam of the Patriarchy is too enticing to those who would change And damning to those who refuse. But they should be very afraid. The righteous might of Woman is a force to be reckoned with. Because, after all... Hell hath no fury like a Woman scorned.

45

I saw you in a dream the other night You were beautiful and perfectly alright You smiled at me and I think my heart broke For I haven’t seen that in so long, I think it was a cruel joke You hurt so good, you feel so bad I want you back, but I know it will never be my path. I saw you in a dream You smiled at me Love radiated from your heart When I awoke, I nearly fell apart What a cruel trick to play on me Not when I’m still grieving? I saw you in a dream I know it’s a sign I have to stop the delay and just say, it’s over, fine I miss you so, but I hurt so much more For when I saw you, I wanted to die. I saw you in a dream, You were looking at me With such a soft laugh and a half-lie Nothing could make me stop this, No matter how hard I try. For this could never be enough. I saw you in a dream And I felt my heart scream I wanted to steal you away Maybe hold you hostage But this, I know, would not be true For you are yours, I could never do that to you Still I felt my soul rend at your sweet face For in the end, you’re not one I can erase. I saw you in a dream I wanted to forget But still you remain A taunt, a trick You haunt my sleep and my wake You are the demon I cannot shake I miss you and hate you To me, it’s all the same.

0

Jul 12, 2019

Jul 12, 2019 at 2:59 AM UTC

I Saw You In a Dream

I saw you in a dream the other night You were beautiful and perfectly alright You smiled at me and I think my heart broke For I haven’t seen that in so long, I think it was a cruel joke You hurt so good, you feel so bad I want you back, but I know it will never be my path. I saw you in a dream You smiled at me Love radiated from your heart When I awoke, I nearly fell apart What a cruel trick to play on me Not when I’m still grieving? I saw you in a dream I know it’s a sign I have to stop the delay and just say, it’s over, fine I miss you so, but I hurt so much more For when I saw you, I wanted to die. I saw you in a dream, You were looking at me With such a soft laugh and a half-lie Nothing could make me stop this, No matter how hard I try. For this could never be enough. I saw you in a dream And I felt my heart scream I wanted to steal you away Maybe hold you hostage But this, I know, would not be true For you are yours, I could never do that to you Still I felt my soul rend at your sweet face For in the end, you’re not one I can erase. I saw you in a dream I wanted to forget But still you remain A taunt, a trick You haunt my sleep and my wake You are the demon I cannot shake I miss you and hate you To me, it’s all the same.

39

I’ve got no right to be angry After all, you were never mine I’ve got no right to be angry But I feel it all the time You were never mine to have But she still drives me ****** mad Yeah the way you kiss her drives me mad I’ve got no right to be angry Yet I’m caught staring at this daydream Wondering what you would feel like beneath my skin Every time I think I’m over you Every time I think I’ve had enough You manage to say something that makes my heart stop and my mind race My happiness fades and I’m left with these pieces of broken glass All of that hope, shattered and wasted No matter how long I take No matter how hard I try I can’t get over you I can’t stop myself from caring, so here, I cry You leave me desolate, but you are my oasis It hurts to see you sad and lonely But it hurts even more to see your heart soar I just want the pain to stop I just want to look at you and not want to **** your brains out I just want my best friend back. I would give my soul if it would make everything okay between us. I miss you so much. But I miss my happiness, too. Every time I see you my mind screams with jealousy over stupid things that you do I want to monopolize your time But that’s not for me to choose. Every time I think I’m over you You decide to do something small, something new You change your hair You change your clothes Every time, I break a little more. You couldn’t be more perfect for me in all that you are; the only way, love, was if you felt for me the same way I do for you.

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Jul 12, 2019

Jul 12, 2019 at 2:49 AM UTC

Angry

I’ve got no right to be angry After all, you were never mine I’ve got no right to be angry But I feel it all the time You were never mine to have But she still drives me ****** mad Yeah the way you kiss her drives me mad I’ve got no right to be angry Yet I’m caught staring at this daydream Wondering what you would feel like beneath my skin Every time I think I’m over you Every time I think I’ve had enough You manage to say something that makes my heart stop and my mind race My happiness fades and I’m left with these pieces of broken glass All of that hope, shattered and wasted No matter how long I take No matter how hard I try I can’t get over you I can’t stop myself from caring, so here, I cry You leave me desolate, but you are my oasis It hurts to see you sad and lonely But it hurts even more to see your heart soar I just want the pain to stop I just want to look at you and not want to **** your brains out I just want my best friend back. I would give my soul if it would make everything okay between us. I miss you so much. But I miss my happiness, too. Every time I see you my mind screams with jealousy over stupid things that you do I want to monopolize your time But that’s not for me to choose. Every time I think I’m over you You decide to do something small, something new You change your hair You change your clothes Every time, I break a little more. You couldn’t be more perfect for me in all that you are; the only way, love, was if you felt for me the same way I do for you.

36

I want to scream, I want to cry This ache in my chest is so unbearable I am so very not okay, and I just want to know why. I was perfectly fine, not two days before What was it that tipped the scales this time? I just wish someone would notice That I'm dying inside a little more every day This ache that pulsates inside It's driving me insane It's not something I can ignore, it occupies my every thought Why, oh why, was I made this way? My stomach churns and I want to hide At this point, feeling pain is better anyway This emptiness is saddening and not okay But I nonetheless rake my nails over my skin, hoping to feel anew. You’ve left me, love. There’s nothing left of us here. I’ve felt this a long time coming, but still it hurts now that I know you’re nowhere near. You’re never coming back. Of this much, I’m aware. I just wish you could have noticed My awful descent into this despair. Would you have stayed, if you’d noticed? I doubt it, I swear You seem to have lost your care For this, I despair. I wish someone would notice I’m drowning, I’m dying I can’t seem to breathe. “Keep going!”—instead I wheeze Soft thoughts drift across my diamond mind Unable to escape, this time. I suppose it’s best that no one will notice. I’m the strong one, I can’t afford to despair. No one will notice, this I swear. They mustn’t be aware of how very broken I am. I’m here for them! I will never let them know Vulnerability isn’t an option for me My broken heart, mind, body—this, they will never see. (Would they even care?) “She’ll get through it, she’s stronger than this” “I doubt she wants help, she likes doing things on her own” (In the end, I seriously doubt it.) (After all, we’re all drowning down here.)

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Jul 2, 2019

Jul 2, 2019 at 4:16 PM UTC

I wish someone would notice

I want to scream, I want to cry This ache in my chest is so unbearable I am so very not okay, and I just want to know why. I was perfectly fine, not two days before What was it that tipped the scales this time? I just wish someone would notice That I'm dying inside a little more every day This ache that pulsates inside It's driving me insane It's not something I can ignore, it occupies my every thought Why, oh why, was I made this way? My stomach churns and I want to hide At this point, feeling pain is better anyway This emptiness is saddening and not okay But I nonetheless rake my nails over my skin, hoping to feel anew. You’ve left me, love. There’s nothing left of us here. I’ve felt this a long time coming, but still it hurts now that I know you’re nowhere near. You’re never coming back. Of this much, I’m aware. I just wish you could have noticed My awful descent into this despair. Would you have stayed, if you’d noticed? I doubt it, I swear You seem to have lost your care For this, I despair. I wish someone would notice I’m drowning, I’m dying I can’t seem to breathe. “Keep going!”—instead I wheeze Soft thoughts drift across my diamond mind Unable to escape, this time. I suppose it’s best that no one will notice. I’m the strong one, I can’t afford to despair. No one will notice, this I swear. They mustn’t be aware of how very broken I am. I’m here for them! I will never let them know Vulnerability isn’t an option for me My broken heart, mind, body—this, they will never see. (Would they even care?) “She’ll get through it, she’s stronger than this” “I doubt she wants help, she likes doing things on her own” (In the end, I seriously doubt it.) (After all, we’re all drowning down here.)

44

I know I’m not perfect. I never claimed to be. But honestly, love, She’s much less perfect than me. I expected more from her, maybe less from you All I know is that this feels so wrong, love She shouldn’t be with you. I thought she was my friend, but now she’s gone too You’ve stolen her away, love I expected more from you. I know I’m not perfect. That much is true. But when you said you didn’t want my baggage, love, I suppose that wasn’t true. She has more problems than I do. She’s been abused and scarred and is aggressively neurotic She’s positively catatonic When nothing goes her way, she makes an embarrassing display So why, love, did you choose her? She’s a walking skeleton, with hollow eyes and a plain face I know I’m not a super model, love But even I can see that she looks out of place. I’m not perfect, love She knows it, you know it, I do too But someday you’ll see, love She’s got more baggage than even you. She’s so different from what you call attractive I can’t discern why she’s with you I can only guess that you don’t know her at all. If you knew the large amounts of baggage she carries, you’d run away from her too. She must be lying to you, love. Either about her life, or about who she is. Putting her best foot forward is different, love, if she’s withholding the truth. I know I’m not perfect, this much I do But I hope you’re not true Because, after all, love, she’s much less perfect than you. I have the feeling you’re a revenge **** Her ex hates you with all his being. I almost wish that were true, love. Because I’d give anything for this to not be real.

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Jul 2, 2019

Jul 2, 2019 at 4:03 PM UTC

Not Perfect / Baggage

I know I’m not perfect. I never claimed to be. But honestly, love, She’s much less perfect than me. I expected more from her, maybe less from you All I know is that this feels so wrong, love She shouldn’t be with you. I thought she was my friend, but now she’s gone too You’ve stolen her away, love I expected more from you. I know I’m not perfect. That much is true. But when you said you didn’t want my baggage, love, I suppose that wasn’t true. She has more problems than I do. She’s been abused and scarred and is aggressively neurotic She’s positively catatonic When nothing goes her way, she makes an embarrassing display So why, love, did you choose her? She’s a walking skeleton, with hollow eyes and a plain face I know I’m not a super model, love But even I can see that she looks out of place. I’m not perfect, love She knows it, you know it, I do too But someday you’ll see, love She’s got more baggage than even you. She’s so different from what you call attractive I can’t discern why she’s with you I can only guess that you don’t know her at all. If you knew the large amounts of baggage she carries, you’d run away from her too. She must be lying to you, love. Either about her life, or about who she is. Putting her best foot forward is different, love, if she’s withholding the truth. I know I’m not perfect, this much I do But I hope you’re not true Because, after all, love, she’s much less perfect than you. I have the feeling you’re a revenge **** Her ex hates you with all his being. I almost wish that were true, love. Because I’d give anything for this to not be real.

38

Because you are to me narcotic You’re slowly killing me with this lethargy I really need it to stop But I don’t want you to stop But if you don’t go I know That my heart will surely stop Because you are so narcotic Together we’re so lethargic And I’m begging you to stop Maybe we aren’t meant to be And you know you’re killing me But we both know that you aren’t gonna stop My heartbeat is slowing now As the time has come We are joined now As I feel your apathy It has become my own And I can’t help But stop I feel it in my veins It’s stopping all my pain But is this what you had wanted? I’ll be forever haunted The whispers in my blood are slowly dying out You should make this time truly count For if you go My heart will surely stop You are my narcotic You make my pain go away You dull the sharp edges You make the world blur You’re my narcotic And I don’t want you to stop.

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Jun 15, 2019

Jun 15, 2019 at 2:59 PM UTC

Narcotic

Because you are to me narcotic You’re slowly killing me with this lethargy I really need it to stop But I don’t want you to stop But if you don’t go I know That my heart will surely stop Because you are so narcotic Together we’re so lethargic And I’m begging you to stop Maybe we aren’t meant to be And you know you’re killing me But we both know that you aren’t gonna stop My heartbeat is slowing now As the time has come We are joined now As I feel your apathy It has become my own And I can’t help But stop I feel it in my veins It’s stopping all my pain But is this what you had wanted? I’ll be forever haunted The whispers in my blood are slowly dying out You should make this time truly count For if you go My heart will surely stop You are my narcotic You make my pain go away You dull the sharp edges You make the world blur You’re my narcotic And I don’t want you to stop.

34

It’s funny how life is How my biggest fear in life—no, it didn’t happen to me It touched my best friend instead. He did something unspeakable She is broken now And all I am filled with is unquenchable Undeniable Rage. I want to tear him limb from limb I want to beat him black and blue Make his face unrecognizable Make him regret the things he did to her. Make him rue the day he made his greatest mistake. You see, I’m not just a girl. Beneath all of the soft lines and playful words, I am a hurricane. When it comes to her, I will give no mercy. She is before anyone else in this world. Like the Hulk, I am filled with rage. I want to rip and tear I want to cause him pain For she has been broken And I want to stop her hurt. After all of my promises that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her, There was nothing I could do. Maybe that’s where my rage originates. I wasn’t there when she needed me. Well, darling, I’m coming. And I carry the rage of woman behind me.

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Apr 17, 2019

Apr 17, 2019 at 1:13 PM UTC

Rage

It’s funny how life is How my biggest fear in life—no, it didn’t happen to me It touched my best friend instead. He did something unspeakable She is broken now And all I am filled with is unquenchable Undeniable Rage. I want to tear him limb from limb I want to beat him black and blue Make his face unrecognizable Make him regret the things he did to her. Make him rue the day he made his greatest mistake. You see, I’m not just a girl. Beneath all of the soft lines and playful words, I am a hurricane. When it comes to her, I will give no mercy. She is before anyone else in this world. Like the Hulk, I am filled with rage. I want to rip and tear I want to cause him pain For she has been broken And I want to stop her hurt. After all of my promises that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her, There was nothing I could do. Maybe that’s where my rage originates. I wasn’t there when she needed me. Well, darling, I’m coming. And I carry the rage of woman behind me.

29

Though you’re long dead and gone I can’t help but wonder how it might’ve went If you’d come in that day. I wouldn’t have lost a part of my heart I wouldn’t have cried out my eyes I would’ve seen your beautiful smile What I wouldn’t give to see it one last time. Sometimes I think you were my first true love More than a crush, because I remember you. Your soft voice and your sweet eyes You towered over me but you were so kind You made me laugh and you made me cry But, darling, why— I didn’t want it to end that way. I was going to ask you to homecoming. I never got the chance. I never knew how you felt, darling— I wish I had more time. Because I simply can’t stop remembering— No, no matter how hard I try. Though you’re dead and gone Up amongst the stars I can’t help but wonder What we could’ve been like. Days filled with laughter, sitting beneath the pines Talking about everything and nothing You could’ve been mine. We danced that year What a wonderful night You were the first time my heartbeat raced Dear old friend of mine. I sometimes wish I could stop remembering But I know that would be a lie. Because though you’re dead and gone, darling, I still wonder from time to time.

0

Apr 17, 2019

Apr 17, 2019 at 2:06 AM UTC

Remembering

Though you’re long dead and gone I can’t help but wonder how it might’ve went If you’d come in that day. I wouldn’t have lost a part of my heart I wouldn’t have cried out my eyes I would’ve seen your beautiful smile What I wouldn’t give to see it one last time. Sometimes I think you were my first true love More than a crush, because I remember you. Your soft voice and your sweet eyes You towered over me but you were so kind You made me laugh and you made me cry But, darling, why— I didn’t want it to end that way. I was going to ask you to homecoming. I never got the chance. I never knew how you felt, darling— I wish I had more time. Because I simply can’t stop remembering— No, no matter how hard I try. Though you’re dead and gone Up amongst the stars I can’t help but wonder What we could’ve been like. Days filled with laughter, sitting beneath the pines Talking about everything and nothing You could’ve been mine. We danced that year What a wonderful night You were the first time my heartbeat raced Dear old friend of mine. I sometimes wish I could stop remembering But I know that would be a lie. Because though you’re dead and gone, darling, I still wonder from time to time.

35

What if we kissed in the moonlit snow Hidden behind that low brick wall Surrounded by the vines? What if you could hold me close And never want to let go When all was said and done? What if we could be happy Ever after, after all Could it be true love? If only these things happened in reality, If only it wasn’t just a dream. Yes, I dreamt of you last night. I thought of others as I drifted off to sleep But none of them can keep my headspace. I want to die every day Waiting Wanting Hurting. I dreamt of you and it was so real that when I woke up I cried a little. Because though I could still feel your breath on my skin and the bite of the cold It wasn’t real. You don’t love me. My life feels a waste. To love so deeply and be slapped in the face With the words, “I don’t feel for you that way” God is a cruel master I feel like dying For it was so real, so lovingly true (at least to me,) That when I woke up I died a little. What if we really caressed as lovers do Under the falling icy sky Deep within the brambles? What if we really touched and loved and smiled Living for one another Under that grey sky? What if we really were as one And my days were not wasted pining And I was truly happy? What if I could find someone who pushed you out of my mind? Can I even hope to be happy? I doubt it, love Because until I can I will continue to want to die.

0

Apr 17, 2019

Apr 17, 2019 at 1:57 AM UTC

What If

What if we kissed in the moonlit snow Hidden behind that low brick wall Surrounded by the vines? What if you could hold me close And never want to let go When all was said and done? What if we could be happy Ever after, after all Could it be true love? If only these things happened in reality, If only it wasn’t just a dream. Yes, I dreamt of you last night. I thought of others as I drifted off to sleep But none of them can keep my headspace. I want to die every day Waiting Wanting Hurting. I dreamt of you and it was so real that when I woke up I cried a little. Because though I could still feel your breath on my skin and the bite of the cold It wasn’t real. You don’t love me. My life feels a waste. To love so deeply and be slapped in the face With the words, “I don’t feel for you that way” God is a cruel master I feel like dying For it was so real, so lovingly true (at least to me,) That when I woke up I died a little. What if we really caressed as lovers do Under the falling icy sky Deep within the brambles? What if we really touched and loved and smiled Living for one another Under that grey sky? What if we really were as one And my days were not wasted pining And I was truly happy? What if I could find someone who pushed you out of my mind? Can I even hope to be happy? I doubt it, love Because until I can I will continue to want to die.

44