-T.W. Abuse-
Your fingers wrapped around my throat and tightened like a zip tie
Your eyes were surging with red and inflamed pink
The lines on your face deepened as your expression hardened
The veins on your arms were visible
Your rough calluses snagged at my skin
I breathed out and my lungs could no longer inhale
You pressed even harder
It was strangely quiet. Just the sound of us scuffling and breathing
I feel my tears roll down the sides of my face dampen my ears and hair
My throat hurt so much, I didn't know if I couldn't scream from fear or from the pressure of your hands
Every move I made you only pressed harder
You were like quicksand
In those 30 seconds, I considered dying. Maybe if I stopped struggling-
No
I tried kicking you as hard as I could but there was no use
My forearms were trapped under your knees and I felt shooting pain
I could only move my neck about 20 or 30 degrees
I bit down so hard I was sure I had dislodged my jaw
I heard it pop and my ears rang
I ran out
When I looked in the bathroom mirror, I thought I was in a movie
I looked like I was in special effects makeup
I had a cut along my head
Blood was dripping down my nose, cupid's bow, and lip
I could taste blood like I had just run without stopping
My throat had individual fingerprints that were a ghastly white and jaundiced
My chest was splotchy and red
I could already see bruises forming on my arms
From my cheekbones to my jaw, it was a pale blue
The mascara I had put on at 8am had run down my cheeks
It was not a moment of survival and strength
I felt beaten
I looked beaten
I looked abused
In that very moment as I audibly gasped a cough and a cry, I knew
I knew he did not love me
I knew my dad abused me
And in that singular moment,
I knew that if I did not leave, I would no longer live
-G.A.
Mar 2, 2022
Mar 2, 2022 at 3:51 PM UTC
-T.W. Abuse-
Your fingers wrapped around my throat and tightened like a zip tie
Your eyes were surging with red and inflamed pink
The lines on your face deepened as your expression hardened
The veins on your arms were visible
Your rough calluses snagged at my skin
I breathed out and my lungs could no longer inhale
You pressed even harder
It was strangely quiet. Just the sound of us scuffling and breathing
I feel my tears roll down the sides of my face dampen my ears and hair
My throat hurt so much, I didn't know if I couldn't scream from fear or from the pressure of your hands
Every move I made you only pressed harder
You were like quicksand
In those 30 seconds, I considered dying. Maybe if I stopped struggling-
No
I tried kicking you as hard as I could but there was no use
My forearms were trapped under your knees and I felt shooting pain
I could only move my neck about 20 or 30 degrees
I bit down so hard I was sure I had dislodged my jaw
I heard it pop and my ears rang
I ran out
When I looked in the bathroom mirror, I thought I was in a movie
I looked like I was in special effects makeup
I had a cut along my head
Blood was dripping down my nose, cupid's bow, and lip
I could taste blood like I had just run without stopping
My throat had individual fingerprints that were a ghastly white and jaundiced
My chest was splotchy and red
I could already see bruises forming on my arms
From my cheekbones to my jaw, it was a pale blue
The mascara I had put on at 8am had run down my cheeks
It was not a moment of survival and strength
I felt beaten
I looked beaten
I looked abused
In that very moment as I audibly gasped a cough and a cry, I knew
I knew he did not love me
I knew my dad abused me
And in that singular moment,
I knew that if I did not leave, I would no longer live
-G.A.
