gwendolyn_alaine22 - Hello Poetry

Regardless: an adverb It means despite the prevailing circumstances. He holds me despite the prevailing circumstances. No he does not hold me regardless. Regardless is too plain to say. I must use the definition because it is much better in its complex form. And he loves me, even in my complex form. He is my respite. Not a sedative; not a mask of the pain No he is relief He brings me assurance that I can sleep again That I can cry again but never alone He holds the wheel of my concious when I need to rest I no longer need to be my own support all the time When he holds me he holds all of me The ugly, the beautiful The shame, the pride He holds sore crying eyes and happy crying lies He holds strength and perseverance He holds love and thoughtfulness He holds the woman that often mistakes herself for a girl He holds the woman that realizes that she can be loved Not loved in the way that books, songs, and drugs try to impersonate No She is valued. She is appreciated. She is thought of. She is loved in a way that is unexplainable and that's ok. It doesn't need to be explained. He knows. And yet he knows enough about her that would easily make others run. But he stays. And he holds her. And he loves her despite the prevailing circumstances. -G.A.

0

Jun 28, 2022

Jun 28, 2022 at 1:50 PM UTC

Regardless

Regardless: an adverb It means despite the prevailing circumstances. He holds me despite the prevailing circumstances. No he does not hold me regardless. Regardless is too plain to say. I must use the definition because it is much better in its complex form. And he loves me, even in my complex form. He is my respite. Not a sedative; not a mask of the pain No he is relief He brings me assurance that I can sleep again That I can cry again but never alone He holds the wheel of my concious when I need to rest I no longer need to be my own support all the time When he holds me he holds all of me The ugly, the beautiful The shame, the pride He holds sore crying eyes and happy crying lies He holds strength and perseverance He holds love and thoughtfulness He holds the woman that often mistakes herself for a girl He holds the woman that realizes that she can be loved Not loved in the way that books, songs, and drugs try to impersonate No She is valued. She is appreciated. She is thought of. She is loved in a way that is unexplainable and that's ok. It doesn't need to be explained. He knows. And yet he knows enough about her that would easily make others run. But he stays. And he holds her. And he loves her despite the prevailing circumstances. -G.A.

29

I do not believe in soulmates or love at first sight. We are social creatures, yes, but someone being "just right"? We do not live happily ever just like Disney claims But we choose to introduce and learn each other's names I don't think fate ever dealt me a good hand But then I'm in your passenger seat while you drive with one hand I feel out of my body when the radio is playing I've never been this happy; "Don't leave me please" I'm praying In less than 3 minutes I'll have to go inside My stomach drops sickly when my driveway is in sight I smile into every kiss of ours and remember I'm not dreaming That the pretty boy I worked with is now the one I'm seeing His contagious smile and eye contact was close to intoxicating I looked forward to work for once and he was my only reason for staying I have found a word for this phenomenon of a boy Serendipity;"to accidentally find joy" I have accidentally found true happiness in the arms of someone I may have never met But thank God I did, for this stranger is no longer one I will forget -G.A.

0

May 24, 2022

May 24, 2022 at 9:25 PM UTC

Serendipity

I do not believe in soulmates or love at first sight. We are social creatures, yes, but someone being "just right"? We do not live happily ever just like Disney claims But we choose to introduce and learn each other's names I don't think fate ever dealt me a good hand But then I'm in your passenger seat while you drive with one hand I feel out of my body when the radio is playing I've never been this happy; "Don't leave me please" I'm praying In less than 3 minutes I'll have to go inside My stomach drops sickly when my driveway is in sight I smile into every kiss of ours and remember I'm not dreaming That the pretty boy I worked with is now the one I'm seeing His contagious smile and eye contact was close to intoxicating I looked forward to work for once and he was my only reason for staying I have found a word for this phenomenon of a boy Serendipity;"to accidentally find joy" I have accidentally found true happiness in the arms of someone I may have never met But thank God I did, for this stranger is no longer one I will forget -G.A.

19

It didn't work out the way we wanted to did it? I know. Everyone's first relationship hurts the most because we wanted to live it Not learn from it But we are not those people anymore We are still what we loved about each other But we are not what we loved about ourselves I love the parts of me that you loved And I will forever be grateful for you being that bridge to my self-love But I will never forget giving you your birthday present at the park I will never forget the happiness that electrified your smile as the tissue paper tore from the wrapping I will never forget how those 20 seconds made my entire year. So if I ever lose you I’ll live forever on our park bench in case you need to find me And if you lost the address, I will bike to you instead Our park bench can miss us so that we don't have to miss each other But I will always love you, loser -Dork

0

May 24, 2022

May 24, 2022 at 4:34 PM UTC

Park Bench

It didn't work out the way we wanted to did it? I know. Everyone's first relationship hurts the most because we wanted to live it Not learn from it But we are not those people anymore We are still what we loved about each other But we are not what we loved about ourselves I love the parts of me that you loved And I will forever be grateful for you being that bridge to my self-love But I will never forget giving you your birthday present at the park I will never forget the happiness that electrified your smile as the tissue paper tore from the wrapping I will never forget how those 20 seconds made my entire year. So if I ever lose you I’ll live forever on our park bench in case you need to find me And if you lost the address, I will bike to you instead Our park bench can miss us so that we don't have to miss each other But I will always love you, loser -Dork

17

You are the first day of summer No, not the day where the sun's out but you still need to grab your coat No You are waking up and the floors aren't chilled anymore Hearing birds for the first time in months Where the sun soaks into your skin like a drought And the grass is warm The grass is more vibrant like lime instead of a faded and browning green You can smell the newly cut grass The neighbor's dogs' barking isn't as obnoxious In fact you smile at it as you walk to the mailbox You can walk at 7pm and the driveway's concrete is still warm from the sun Where it's pitch black but the air is no cooler than 60 degrees The lake's water is no longer stilled; it's rushing with boats Children run in hats and sunglasses that are too big for them To have that childlike urge to ride a bike down the road You are happiness You are what I look forward to You fill me with the warmth that I had forgotten existed after life's winter. You remind me of the first day of summer. And I love the first day of summer with everything I hold And holding you, I feel like I can love me too. -G.A.

0

Apr 27, 2022

Apr 27, 2022 at 8:20 PM UTC

You Remind Me

You are the first day of summer No, not the day where the sun's out but you still need to grab your coat No You are waking up and the floors aren't chilled anymore Hearing birds for the first time in months Where the sun soaks into your skin like a drought And the grass is warm The grass is more vibrant like lime instead of a faded and browning green You can smell the newly cut grass The neighbor's dogs' barking isn't as obnoxious In fact you smile at it as you walk to the mailbox You can walk at 7pm and the driveway's concrete is still warm from the sun Where it's pitch black but the air is no cooler than 60 degrees The lake's water is no longer stilled; it's rushing with boats Children run in hats and sunglasses that are too big for them To have that childlike urge to ride a bike down the road You are happiness You are what I look forward to You fill me with the warmth that I had forgotten existed after life's winter. You remind me of the first day of summer. And I love the first day of summer with everything I hold And holding you, I feel like I can love me too. -G.A.

23

Dad used to walk past the closet and smell your clothes Maybe he was trying to remember what it felt like to hold you They don't smell like you anymore I wonder what he fills that closet with now Maybe winter clothes Or shoes Or tears I wonder if he turns over in the middle of the night to see if the right side of the bed is still empty I think he cried when he gave away your coffee machine And I wonder if he still has all of your mugs and your Hard Rock Cafe glass I wonder if he misses you in the passenger seat And still knows your phone number by heart like I do I wonder how much he sold the recliner for that you died in Did he tell the buyer that his wife died in it? I wonder if he calls you his wife or his ex-wife when he speaks about you I wonder if he just calls you "Wendy" or "my daughter's mom" I wonder what he did with your lipstick and your purses I wonder if he still eats at the Thai place you liked and if he sits alone I wonder if he avoids going to church because it's where we had your service I wonder if he talks to you in his head I wonder if he'll ever tell me how much he misses you Now that I know what's it's like to love someone, I can't imagine them dead I'm so sorry Dad.

0

Apr 27, 2022

Apr 27, 2022 at 7:54 PM UTC

I wonder

Dad used to walk past the closet and smell your clothes Maybe he was trying to remember what it felt like to hold you They don't smell like you anymore I wonder what he fills that closet with now Maybe winter clothes Or shoes Or tears I wonder if he turns over in the middle of the night to see if the right side of the bed is still empty I think he cried when he gave away your coffee machine And I wonder if he still has all of your mugs and your Hard Rock Cafe glass I wonder if he misses you in the passenger seat And still knows your phone number by heart like I do I wonder how much he sold the recliner for that you died in Did he tell the buyer that his wife died in it? I wonder if he calls you his wife or his ex-wife when he speaks about you I wonder if he just calls you "Wendy" or "my daughter's mom" I wonder what he did with your lipstick and your purses I wonder if he still eats at the Thai place you liked and if he sits alone I wonder if he avoids going to church because it's where we had your service I wonder if he talks to you in his head I wonder if he'll ever tell me how much he misses you Now that I know what's it's like to love someone, I can't imagine them dead I'm so sorry Dad.

23

The apples of her cheeks have held years of our laughter Her teary fit of giggles hold too many chapters She's envied by spring, at least that's the rumor She is vastly infectious with beauty and humor When I see her again I won't let her go Good God I miss her, I hope that she knows She's alluringly gorgeous, her beauty captivating Yet she doesn't even see it; It's so frustrating I have envied her hard work and impenetrable strive I wonder if she knows how much she is my guide I would not be the woman, even half of what I am Without my cherished Allison, I'd have failed life's exam And if diamonds are a girl's best friend, She's glittering and sparkling in the light's bend -G.A.

0

Mar 3, 2022

Mar 3, 2022 at 8:30 PM UTC

Allison

The apples of her cheeks have held years of our laughter Her teary fit of giggles hold too many chapters She's envied by spring, at least that's the rumor She is vastly infectious with beauty and humor When I see her again I won't let her go Good God I miss her, I hope that she knows She's alluringly gorgeous, her beauty captivating Yet she doesn't even see it; It's so frustrating I have envied her hard work and impenetrable strive I wonder if she knows how much she is my guide I would not be the woman, even half of what I am Without my cherished Allison, I'd have failed life's exam And if diamonds are a girl's best friend, She's glittering and sparkling in the light's bend -G.A.

15

I am too young to feel this sore My wooden feet pull from the wooden soles I sit in the wooden chair with my wooden spine aching Yet I am no Walt Disney character, no no no I have not been written with fairy tales and magic wands My whole body feels like tired wood Worn wood Wooden bench sat on by thousands A house's wood that has seen too many families Fire wood that is stored only to be burned later for other people's enjoyment But I want to crawl into a tree and grow with it Every cell in my body transforming into one of the tree's rings To grow translucent green leaves and say goodbye to them in winter To stretch my body and sprawl into every individual branch To drink plentifully from my roots when the sky cries To be so still but hold so much life I would like to sit loftly above houses and have children create entire kingdoms upon me full of memories and imagination free of limits I would like to hold a swing or a hammock I would like to grow backwards and be 6 years old again To swing on the cheap 2 by 4 wood my dad hung from our magnolia To love trees as I used to To look forward to warm sun, a tree swing, and the "big kid" chapter books I would like to be a tree But I would rather be myself again -G.A.

0

Mar 2, 2022

Mar 2, 2022 at 4:29 PM UTC

Tree Rings and Tree Swings

I am too young to feel this sore My wooden feet pull from the wooden soles I sit in the wooden chair with my wooden spine aching Yet I am no Walt Disney character, no no no I have not been written with fairy tales and magic wands My whole body feels like tired wood Worn wood Wooden bench sat on by thousands A house's wood that has seen too many families Fire wood that is stored only to be burned later for other people's enjoyment But I want to crawl into a tree and grow with it Every cell in my body transforming into one of the tree's rings To grow translucent green leaves and say goodbye to them in winter To stretch my body and sprawl into every individual branch To drink plentifully from my roots when the sky cries To be so still but hold so much life I would like to sit loftly above houses and have children create entire kingdoms upon me full of memories and imagination free of limits I would like to hold a swing or a hammock I would like to grow backwards and be 6 years old again To swing on the cheap 2 by 4 wood my dad hung from our magnolia To love trees as I used to To look forward to warm sun, a tree swing, and the "big kid" chapter books I would like to be a tree But I would rather be myself again -G.A.

25

-T.W. Abuse- Your fingers wrapped around my throat and tightened like a zip tie Your eyes were surging with red and inflamed pink The lines on your face deepened as your expression hardened The veins on your arms were visible Your rough calluses snagged at my skin I breathed out and my lungs could no longer inhale You pressed even harder It was strangely quiet. Just the sound of us scuffling and breathing I feel my tears roll down the sides of my face dampen my ears and hair My throat hurt so much, I didn't know if I couldn't scream from fear or from the pressure of your hands Every move I made you only pressed harder You were like quicksand In those 30 seconds, I considered dying. Maybe if I stopped struggling- No I tried kicking you as hard as I could but there was no use My forearms were trapped under your knees and I felt shooting pain I could only move my neck about 20 or 30 degrees I bit down so hard I was sure I had dislodged my jaw I heard it pop and my ears rang I ran out When I looked in the bathroom mirror, I thought I was in a movie I looked like I was in special effects makeup I had a cut along my head Blood was dripping down my nose, cupid's bow, and lip I could taste blood like I had just run without stopping My throat had individual fingerprints that were a ghastly white and jaundiced My chest was splotchy and red I could already see bruises forming on my arms From my cheekbones to my jaw, it was a pale blue The mascara I had put on at 8am had run down my cheeks It was not a moment of survival and strength I felt beaten I looked beaten I looked abused In that very moment as I audibly gasped a cough and a cry, I knew I knew he did not love me I knew my dad abused me And in that singular moment, I knew that if I did not leave, I would no longer live -G.A.

0

Mar 2, 2022

Mar 2, 2022 at 3:51 PM UTC

Quicksand

-T.W. Abuse- Your fingers wrapped around my throat and tightened like a zip tie Your eyes were surging with red and inflamed pink The lines on your face deepened as your expression hardened The veins on your arms were visible Your rough calluses snagged at my skin I breathed out and my lungs could no longer inhale You pressed even harder It was strangely quiet. Just the sound of us scuffling and breathing I feel my tears roll down the sides of my face dampen my ears and hair My throat hurt so much, I didn't know if I couldn't scream from fear or from the pressure of your hands Every move I made you only pressed harder You were like quicksand In those 30 seconds, I considered dying. Maybe if I stopped struggling- No I tried kicking you as hard as I could but there was no use My forearms were trapped under your knees and I felt shooting pain I could only move my neck about 20 or 30 degrees I bit down so hard I was sure I had dislodged my jaw I heard it pop and my ears rang I ran out When I looked in the bathroom mirror, I thought I was in a movie I looked like I was in special effects makeup I had a cut along my head Blood was dripping down my nose, cupid's bow, and lip I could taste blood like I had just run without stopping My throat had individual fingerprints that were a ghastly white and jaundiced My chest was splotchy and red I could already see bruises forming on my arms From my cheekbones to my jaw, it was a pale blue The mascara I had put on at 8am had run down my cheeks It was not a moment of survival and strength I felt beaten I looked beaten I looked abused In that very moment as I audibly gasped a cough and a cry, I knew I knew he did not love me I knew my dad abused me And in that singular moment, I knew that if I did not leave, I would no longer live -G.A.

41

Who is she? She's pretty She's not me I'm Pity I'm the girl you gave a chance But who is she? What's her name? Is she New? Is she Desire? Is she Perfect? Is she Liar? But I was just Pity to you wasn't I? I remember when I was Pretty, Good Morning, and Perfect Fitting So why am I now Pity, Disposed, and Just Kidding? I loved you But let me tell you what I love more. I love that I am Try and Thoughtful and Creative I am Good Morning to myself and everyone I greet I am Vociferous and Ebullient and Divine I am Mothering and I am Glittering I may not be Everything You Want But I was Everything to someone, right now, and I will again I will not let you be Don't Try Again I am Try Again I am Buoyant I am Things I Hope You Will Be But I am also Loved And I do not need to be loved by you anymore -Loved

0

Mar 1, 2022

Mar 1, 2022 at 4:24 PM UTC

My Name Is Loved

Who is she? She's pretty She's not me I'm Pity I'm the girl you gave a chance But who is she? What's her name? Is she New? Is she Desire? Is she Perfect? Is she Liar? But I was just Pity to you wasn't I? I remember when I was Pretty, Good Morning, and Perfect Fitting So why am I now Pity, Disposed, and Just Kidding? I loved you But let me tell you what I love more. I love that I am Try and Thoughtful and Creative I am Good Morning to myself and everyone I greet I am Vociferous and Ebullient and Divine I am Mothering and I am Glittering I may not be Everything You Want But I was Everything to someone, right now, and I will again I will not let you be Don't Try Again I am Try Again I am Buoyant I am Things I Hope You Will Be But I am also Loved And I do not need to be loved by you anymore -Loved

25

The blood rushing to my head is louder than the music My feet are sore from dancing but my heart feels awful sick Don't watch me standing there; I'm only dancing for you to watch I already feel wasted, but I could probably use some scotch "This is my song!" my excitement sacrificial I run back to the teenage bodies and suffocating middle My hands are up above me but my head is so much higher My smile and fit of giggles is the night's cheap attire I feel like an awkward toddler trying to hold my head up Thank god I'm underage, don't ever bring me to a club Alcohol and freedom, don't give me that opportunity I feel like a delinquent ***** a desperate fit of mutiny I'm singing every word like I'm the farthest thing from crying But a taunting bathroom stall and mascara streaks say "You're lying" Please come hold me -No Watch me from afar Look at what you're missing I want to kiss you in your car "Stop it you don't need him" **** right" I say with confidence I'll never let it show but God at least I'll sin

0

Feb 24, 2022

Feb 24, 2022 at 11:11 AM UTC

Sin

The blood rushing to my head is louder than the music My feet are sore from dancing but my heart feels awful sick Don't watch me standing there; I'm only dancing for you to watch I already feel wasted, but I could probably use some scotch "This is my song!" my excitement sacrificial I run back to the teenage bodies and suffocating middle My hands are up above me but my head is so much higher My smile and fit of giggles is the night's cheap attire I feel like an awkward toddler trying to hold my head up Thank god I'm underage, don't ever bring me to a club Alcohol and freedom, don't give me that opportunity I feel like a delinquent ***** a desperate fit of mutiny I'm singing every word like I'm the farthest thing from crying But a taunting bathroom stall and mascara streaks say "You're lying" Please come hold me -No Watch me from afar Look at what you're missing I want to kiss you in your car "Stop it you don't need him" **** right" I say with confidence I'll never let it show but God at least I'll sin

22