Some where, some place in my mind
I pretend not,
back laid flat on a tree branch reading Sylvia Plath
Feeling the warmth of sunrays trying to come through the leaves, like when I was in the arms of my mother the night before she disappeared
How could tranquility be lavishly elusive?
ironically
at present we call reality
where time is uncontrollable and actions have consequences,
where happiness does not last long
and where pain and death are inevitable
What could possibly be there for a woman like me?
Historically devoid of emancipation,
anticipated without evolution
Where creativity is madness
and vulnerability is nothing but weakness
I guess I have none left in me but love,
a kind of love I have chosen without thinking it through
Not brought by fate or made of rose-colored glasses
a love suppressed from those with scathing eyes
even from my father’s cognisance,
because you see I could not break his heart
no matter how it inclined me to cowardice and doubt
This made me not want to witness the conclusion of this affair,
like the last part of a film when it is time for the credits to roll,
where it would leave you longing and melancholic that it has to end
But how long do you think it would mend?
because I know how deep it would leave a scar
and it terrifies me to the bone that I may not be able to recover this time
Mother, Sylvia and Elizabeth,
if only you have an answer to this contemplation
because here I am in my thirties,
still a prisoner of my own decisions
wondering if there is more to this life and if this void will ever be filled
Albeit, a part of myself would return,
on those days when there was a reason to be happy
I would find you and me
in all our silliness and simplicity
and that short lived moment was for me,
our eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
If only it would remain eternal...
Because how do I avoid this impending tragedy?
I never want to imagine nor dream of the agony,
of roaming alone in this dyad orbit
the countless nights of crying myself to sleep
and falling into the abyss of a future unknown to me
It would happen one day,
that very one thing I am certain at least,
that eventually you would have to go
from this idyllic fortress we have hidden for so long
I could only pray by then,
that for once you believed that we loved
leaving a piece of ourselves with one another as we move on with this life
Thank you for being a part of it
for letting me experience your vastness
surrendering to my reasons,
no questions asked
May we mend and blossom in a rush
I would always utter your name in a hush
until we finally meet a different version of us
Mar 17
Mar 17, 2026 at 3:21 PM UTC
Some where, some place in my mind
I pretend not,
back laid flat on a tree branch reading Sylvia Plath
Feeling the warmth of sunrays trying to come through the leaves, like when I was in the arms of my mother the night before she disappeared
How could tranquility be lavishly elusive?
ironically
at present we call reality
where time is uncontrollable and actions have consequences,
where happiness does not last long
and where pain and death are inevitable
What could possibly be there for a woman like me?
Historically devoid of emancipation,
anticipated without evolution
Where creativity is madness
and vulnerability is nothing but weakness
I guess I have none left in me but love,
a kind of love I have chosen without thinking it through
Not brought by fate or made of rose-colored glasses
a love suppressed from those with scathing eyes
even from my father’s cognisance,
because you see I could not break his heart
no matter how it inclined me to cowardice and doubt
This made me not want to witness the conclusion of this affair,
like the last part of a film when it is time for the credits to roll,
where it would leave you longing and melancholic that it has to end
But how long do you think it would mend?
because I know how deep it would leave a scar
and it terrifies me to the bone that I may not be able to recover this time
Mother, Sylvia and Elizabeth,
if only you have an answer to this contemplation
because here I am in my thirties,
still a prisoner of my own decisions
wondering if there is more to this life and if this void will ever be filled
Albeit, a part of myself would return,
on those days when there was a reason to be happy
I would find you and me
in all our silliness and simplicity
and that short lived moment was for me,
our eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
If only it would remain eternal...
Because how do I avoid this impending tragedy?
I never want to imagine nor dream of the agony,
of roaming alone in this dyad orbit
the countless nights of crying myself to sleep
and falling into the abyss of a future unknown to me
It would happen one day,
that very one thing I am certain at least,
that eventually you would have to go
from this idyllic fortress we have hidden for so long
I could only pray by then,
that for once you believed that we loved
leaving a piece of ourselves with one another as we move on with this life
Thank you for being a part of it
for letting me experience your vastness
surrendering to my reasons,
no questions asked
May we mend and blossom in a rush
I would always utter your name in a hush
until we finally meet a different version of us
