She said with uncertainty
But I know what ok is
It shows meaning
It shows shelter
But with the shaky voice
An earthquake is happening
A tornado is tearing her life apart
There is a bullet hole in her heart
And I can see it
Not because of the signs given
Not because of the terrible things happening
But because she is transparent
I could see through her
Her feelings
Her anger
I could always tell when she is upset
I try the best I could
To keep her steady
Even when I push my boundaries
Even when she pushes me away
I sometimes calm the storm
Because anger is never born
it was always formed
out of hurtful words and actions
Anger is a sculpture
It reflects us
words pushed and transformed
turning it into flames
that ignite our emotions
To fight back
I know this because that was me
I try to control it
But I can't be the ice instead of fire
It still ignites
I hold it in
To the point I explode into a fireball
Screaming, crying
I start jittering
And when I do get angry,
I get guilty
Guilt is my extinguisher
The past still haunts me
So, I isolate myself
From things that remind me
Of what happened that day
But sometimes I come out of my shell
Because that person I hurt
The person I feel guilty of
Is becoming my lighthouse
I am keeping the ship of friendship steady
careful that one wrong move
could tip it over
But sometimes I take risks
Because that lighthouse is falling apart
I try to rebuild it as best as I can
I know life is hard for her
I know she needs support beams
To lift her dreams
So, I will help be that support beam
If that special someone is reading this,
I will be a part of the foundation
For your lighthouse.