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Cantankerous

by supremeovaries

What is a heart without a soul, and an eye without sight? I am a wanderer through life the woods a dark path, and an ocean so wide that if you swim too far, you’ve passed Go and there’s no money to collect Hands choke the only embrace they know when the only place they’ve known is the beating clock face perspiring time beads of seconds running down the wall I am an enigma and senseless in my thoughts Things I know, things that remain unchanged My eyes are broken glasses aren’t helpful seeing as my tear ducts provide as much liquid as Roman aqueducts My hair is metamorphosis, cornsilk in summer, copper in winter, which leads to the questioning of a soul though perception of color determines nothing in the realm of human life I am closed doors and low lights, the bare minimum to read Intergalactic travel has been made available with the library as our NASA savior Food, water, shelter basic life sources but I feed off of words a language leech a metaphor monger a wasted writer I lead through words actions lack there of How can I control 40 kids, when I haven’t even figured out how to do that with myself? I am a magnet my hands gravitate to stray dogs dirty cats hand sanitizer is a wonderful invention I am lost in what I am not the feeling of loneliness certainly possible even when I must always have someone around I’ve shed my cocoon but it’s felt more like a molted snake skin My wings, promised brilliant and strong, brown, crinkled paper, illegible The strength to fly eludes my desire to leave What’s life without a paradox, and a journey with no goal? I am mapless a piece of paper even more unreadable to my leaky-faucet eyes something I find beauty in as wallpaper but nothing I could use I am rolling tides Emotions crash in waves knocking me into the current taking me away with no buoy in sight unknown, sad, frustrated, alone, hopeless, lost, and, in the rare instances, content What’s being without feeling, and trying without wanting to do? I am a daughter that has made parents proud, without making myself feel anything I am a friend, one that has been left returned to used and kept only by few I am a companion, my eyes used where his eyes cannot see color “The sky looks so purple tonight.” “I don’t know what purple is.” I am love too powerful to maintain cloaked in fear, disinterest, anger I am not what I appear, my mind thinking it’s a good idea to display the opposite of what I feel Freudian defense mechanisms never gave much protection offense tangible tasting distaste the words can be on the tip of my tongue and cliff dive head first into social suicide Tolkien, Card, Rowling, King, Bradbury, protectors and hopes Paper can burn memories sear words pain I am independent, refusing aid most cantankerously when it’s needed most I am depths I myself don’t know a venture that seems too dark to take the plunge an open pit of life disguised as littered ground
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supremeovaries
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Written by
supremeovaries
Published
Jan 9, 2015
Time
6m
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