I can't see them in a way that says, I love you deeply.
My love for them turns off and on.
Their bad behavior towards me blocks my heart.
On a few occasions, the switch is easy to push up turning the light on.
On most occasions, it's hard to turn on keeping it dark.
The denial and dismissal of the truth of their wrongful actions and a lack of accountability keeps the switch turned off.
When the light is turned off, however dark, it's easier for me to walk straight, unburdened by a love untrue, unburdened by their self-centeredness, unburdened by their selfishness.
The light will stay off for as long as they hold on to the switch.