My breath caught
the words abandoned me
my Heart collapsed
it shivered then crumbled,
quivering
in it’s shattered state
I stared at an empty sheet of paper
trying to fill the blank spaces
but all I see is scenes of the past
they flow over the page like water
taunting me
screaming soundlessly
writhing and twisting like monstrous nightmares
these shadows I tried to contain
these demons I tried to drown
the past I tried to suppress
but they refuse to be ignored
No they demand my attention like greedy beasts
they claw at my mind
Demanding I let them out of their cage
it’s tempting
but letting them out would break me
they bear the memories I wish I could burn
they carry the pain he left
the insecurities he loved to force upon my mind
all the tears I wasted on them
worst of all they throw my fear and guilt at me
these monstrous nightmarish demons
claw at my soul while they tear at my mind
they beg for my destruction
and I can feel them getting free
the tears race down my cheeks to stain my chest
my eyes finally see the fading scars on my skin
and my body once again learns to hate itself
my mind commits every imperfection to memory
and whispers
“you’ll never be good enough”
the tears come faster
my mind whispers
“you can not ignore these demons”
my body screams at me
my mind whispers
“there is no escape, no way to appease me”
my bones tremble in disgust
my mind whispers
“you will never be loved”
my soul cries out
my mind whispers
“you'll never be enough, only I can 'love' you”
my heart bleeds
my mind whispers
“only I truly know how ugly and scarred you are"
My breath caught
the words abandoned me
my Heart collapsed
it shivered then crumbled,
quivering
in it’s shattered state
I stared at an empty sheet of paper
trying to fill the blank spaces
only to find blood spattered pages