i used to be a self-flagellating closet case,
but now i'm just a navel-gazing headcase;
there's a piercing there !
of course i have to appreciate it :)
i'm a raindrop on the average
person's face, but i feel like a storm
i used to be kind, and then i was cruel,
now i'm completely different!
i'm kind, i'm cruel, and perfectly
imperfectly peculiarly impairingly
genderfucked. what am i but
visual haze and a mentally
demented entity for the cis and
even my other trans kin to
gaze at? navel-ly, of course.
it took me a couple decades, but
i figured it out! i'm a thousand
storms, a thousand shipwrecks,
and a couple of decades worth of
selves crammed into a rickety,
malnourished, moribund brain.
i'm a giggling fox, i'm a lonely,
hysterical cat, i'm nothing, i'm
the chirp of a cricket, i'm the
scream of a passing train, i'm the
torment of a broken household, i'm
an old lover, i'm a current lover,
i'm dead, i'm a terrible
poet, i'm a geriatric "human"
who accidentally got let out of
impatient, i'm a failure, i'm a
failed artist, i'm brutally honest,
i'm a liar, i'm prideful in how
direct and how accidentally
crude i can be, i'm a failed
artist, i'm the lyrics to a 1989
swans song, i'm a **** i'm short for this
world, i'm a decaying tree
that was planted and overtrimmed,
i'm still nothing, i'm disabled, i'm
worthless, i'm scratched full of inky
scribbles i thought would make me
feel right, i'm full of past
and present love, i'm scared, I'm
underskilled and overqualified, i'm a
misanthrope who's obsessed with
the human body, i'm over all of
my addictions, i'm so angry at
the selfish, overconsuming hoards
of humanity, i'm struggling, i'm not
sure I remember much, i'm
regularly tested because i swear that
i'm not risk-taking too much, i'm naive
i'm a braggart, i'm a charlatan
i'm dizzy all the time, i'm always
thinking and it never stops, i'm talking
way too ******* much.
i'm always clawing out of my own
storm though, i'm trying not to drown.
i have too much to love, too much
to lust for, too many kin to exhilarate,
too many ways to learn about this
engrossing floating rock in the void.
i have to grow more, even if my
storm is always trying to undo
me. it can't undo everything,
it can't undo the way my
body curves about now,
it can't undo the way i've
run so far, and it can't
undo the way i've
been humbled.
decline in both joint-flexibility
and mental flexibility is
truly unfortunate, but i must
bare myself still: to art,
to friends, to lovers, to the past,
to the future, to everything
willing to listen.
Feb 12
Feb 12, 2026 at 6:40 AM UTC
i used to be a self-flagellating closet case,
but now i'm just a navel-gazing headcase;
there's a piercing there !
of course i have to appreciate it :)
i'm a raindrop on the average
person's face, but i feel like a storm
i used to be kind, and then i was cruel,
now i'm completely different!
i'm kind, i'm cruel, and perfectly
imperfectly peculiarly impairingly
genderfucked. what am i but
visual haze and a mentally
demented entity for the cis and
even my other trans kin to
gaze at? navel-ly, of course.
it took me a couple decades, but
i figured it out! i'm a thousand
storms, a thousand shipwrecks,
and a couple of decades worth of
selves crammed into a rickety,
malnourished, moribund brain.
i'm a giggling fox, i'm a lonely,
hysterical cat, i'm nothing, i'm
the chirp of a cricket, i'm the
scream of a passing train, i'm the
torment of a broken household, i'm
an old lover, i'm a current lover,
i'm dead, i'm a terrible
poet, i'm a geriatric "human"
who accidentally got let out of
impatient, i'm a failure, i'm a
failed artist, i'm brutally honest,
i'm a liar, i'm prideful in how
direct and how accidentally
crude i can be, i'm a failed
artist, i'm the lyrics to a 1989
swans song, i'm a **** i'm short for this
world, i'm a decaying tree
that was planted and overtrimmed,
i'm still nothing, i'm disabled, i'm
worthless, i'm scratched full of inky
scribbles i thought would make me
feel right, i'm full of past
and present love, i'm scared, I'm
underskilled and overqualified, i'm a
misanthrope who's obsessed with
the human body, i'm over all of
my addictions, i'm so angry at
the selfish, overconsuming hoards
of humanity, i'm struggling, i'm not
sure I remember much, i'm
regularly tested because i swear that
i'm not risk-taking too much, i'm naive
i'm a braggart, i'm a charlatan
i'm dizzy all the time, i'm always
thinking and it never stops, i'm talking
way too ******* much.
i'm always clawing out of my own
storm though, i'm trying not to drown.
i have too much to love, too much
to lust for, too many kin to exhilarate,
too many ways to learn about this
engrossing floating rock in the void.
i have to grow more, even if my
storm is always trying to undo
me. it can't undo everything,
it can't undo the way my
body curves about now,
it can't undo the way i've
run so far, and it can't
undo the way i've
been humbled.
decline in both joint-flexibility
and mental flexibility is
truly unfortunate, but i must
bare myself still: to art,
to friends, to lovers, to the past,
to the future, to everything
willing to listen.
i'm not a poet, but it's a nice way to rant into a ghost town. i prefer writing and tattooing.
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