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Try harder, so I do Still reaching for the fix My mind cannot bear another year of six It’s in his hands so what will I do He yells and yells louder I’m waiting I’m waiting I’m waiting on you Fix this and do that Can you ever just, STOP! Hours, minutes, seconds on your clock The label of duty of a wife on Shabbat Your intent was evil and always with plot Spread your legs! Shut your mouth! Let my birthright inside you Alone in my mind But I had to abide you I cried ‘till you finished Left burned and diminished Curled up Dead inside with nothing left to give Yet you demanded more if I wanted to live These unspoken vows How could I have known I wasn’t a Jew How could I be ****** You are nothing without me I will take as I please Your screams are useless as I enter with ease My distain was certain and I fought to withhold I could not bear your touch and prayed to die cold Your punishment loomed always You made me guess “when” I hid in our closets pulling my soul further in You were never worthy to be at my feet You serve as my slave and you are now mine to keep As I grew out my armor I hoped it could repel Your disgusting hands You inadequate male For your spirit was cold It was mean It was old You were born self-entitled Adorned self-proclaimed gold Even cancer can’t change you Not even a bit Still abusive as ever Still living to spit Your host is so evil The most rotten apple from her tree I wish her the deepest of pains for creating the abuser you'd be The sounds of her mouth All the stink of her too Inappropriate Loud A pick-and-choose Jew You’re chosen you say So, what, you don’t need to abide By the laws of, The Book Alas, The Book, has two sides You choose what you want and ignore all the rest Your go to MO You've both mastered it best Still dutifully married Our life torn apart wide Clenching me tightly Prancing around with your pride But as I grow older, I begin to whither and fade I still deal with my devil to whom I’m enslaved When will he go? I’ve asked and begged why I’ll ask for forgiveness when I can no longer cry Now finally I stand over you Lifeless and cold Your soul still infested with hatred and mold My last mitzvah of dirt I’ll gladly shovel with ease To finally breath that longed moment of peace Peace from your self-hatred Jealous of me ever more I sigh the deepest of breaths as dirt covers your door Cry one last time Impossible, for I have no more tears You stole them from me when you ***** me for years
0
Mar 22, 2021
Mar 22, 2021 at 2:53 AM UTC
Heavy
Try harder, so I do Still reaching for the fix My mind cannot bear another year of six It’s in his hands so what will I do He yells and yells louder I’m waiting I’m waiting I’m waiting on you Fix this and do that Can you ever just, STOP! Hours, minutes, seconds on your clock The label of duty of a wife on Shabbat Your intent was evil and always with plot Spread your legs! Shut your mouth! Let my birthright inside you Alone in my mind But I had to abide you I cried ‘till you finished Left burned and diminished Curled up Dead inside with nothing left to give Yet you demanded more if I wanted to live These unspoken vows How could I have known I wasn’t a Jew How could I be ****** You are nothing without me I will take as I please Your screams are useless as I enter with ease My distain was certain and I fought to withhold I could not bear your touch and prayed to die cold Your punishment loomed always You made me guess “when” I hid in our closets pulling my soul further in You were never worthy to be at my feet You serve as my slave and you are now mine to keep As I grew out my armor I hoped it could repel Your disgusting hands You inadequate male For your spirit was cold It was mean It was old You were born self-entitled Adorned self-proclaimed gold Even cancer can’t change you Not even a bit Still abusive as ever Still living to spit Your host is so evil The most rotten apple from her tree I wish her the deepest of pains for creating the abuser you'd be The sounds of her mouth All the stink of her too Inappropriate Loud A pick-and-choose Jew You’re chosen you say So, what, you don’t need to abide By the laws of, The Book Alas, The Book, has two sides You choose what you want and ignore all the rest Your go to MO You've both mastered it best Still dutifully married Our life torn apart wide Clenching me tightly Prancing around with your pride But as I grow older, I begin to whither and fade I still deal with my devil to whom I’m enslaved When will he go? I’ve asked and begged why I’ll ask for forgiveness when I can no longer cry Now finally I stand over you Lifeless and cold Your soul still infested with hatred and mold My last mitzvah of dirt I’ll gladly shovel with ease To finally breath that longed moment of peace Peace from your self-hatred Jealous of me ever more I sigh the deepest of breaths as dirt covers your door Cry one last time Impossible, for I have no more tears You stole them from me when you ***** me for years
Marital Lessons
#ptsd#abuse#cancer#narcissist
Chosen
Written by
Chosen
Nahant, MA
Mar 22, 2021
Mar 22, 2021 at 2:53 AM UTC
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