I died tonight, died in my own web of lies
i told you i was free, hoped it was meant to be
but life does not work out that way
there are consequences to the things you say
i told you i was free, i told you i was there
when in fact i was having a scare
i did leave him, but i did not want to leave him for you
i did say goodbye, but i had to know it was good for me too
I had to break out of the safety bubble i was in
and i got out half, before it sucked me deep within
itself
and now i am stuck, right were i was before
without the prospect of you and with my heart feeling sore
I did it all myself, honestly
i am a bad person and karma won't treat me differently
because i think i can escape the rules that apply to everyone
what on earth have i become?
i saw you standing there , in the club, the fist night we met
tall, with dark eyes and dark hair
could feel your energy being good and fair
You resembled me a few years ago
wild and rebellious and free
everything i was trying not to be
anymore
because i ruined a big part of my life
by drinking and thinking i knew everything by taking drugs and being a smartass
but the world could care less
i figured out i had to break out of the patterns
and last year i did, i was busy with university and got straight a's
before that fateful night when i met you there
i decided in september to become a square
It was working out for me
allthough suppressing my true self gave me an allergy
I suppressed myself, and got lost in feeling safe
i always knew i was somewhere inside, it was just me trying to behave
but you awoke something in me
you woke up the lion, who now wanted to break free
but he could not
for he was stuck, trying to be tamed by people and the world itself
so i pushed him back on the shelf
ignored how you make me feel
thought this was just in my brain and this could not be real
You are you and i like you
but to me you are also the symbol for everything i miss
you made me so confused that i could not see you
because i have to get through
on my own
find the balance between my true self and living in this mad world
Thank you for showing me what i miss in myself
for i can find it now, and take some of the lions courage
and walk away, from the situations that are not making me feel free
because being free is all that i want, and all i was ever meant to be.