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yesterday was my birthday (what if the poetry ceases)

October 2013

 

for Maria and Logan...

 

you need two hands, one foot.

count my years.

each finger, worth a decade.

each toe, well, a century...

 

birthdays.

 

point of inflection,

point of opportunity,

presents itself,

to rewrite history.

 

a second coat of paint,

gift-wrapped in weak excuses.

how I lied, how I ain't,

grimm-fated fairy tales

somebody created.

 

invisible suits of gold-cloth

worn to my party of

past rewrit and

future foretold.

 

one single thought,

memory,

seizes my heart,

as I fall to my knees.

cracks my temperate ease,

renders open the

woof and weave

of recycled deceptions,

causing all to be revealed

and ask,

 

what if the poetry ceases?

 

you know prostrate?

you taste grief?

 

have you not but

one pain,

one act,

one deed,

one memorization,

act of cowardice,

act of desertion,

mistake maden, taken,

for which

forgiveness

can never

be given,

be taken,

attained?

 

do, does, did.

 

let me then

win the birthday lottery,

let floods of relief from

daily chores, not drown me,

chauffeurs to drive,

masseurs to massage,

cooks to cook,

les delicious treats,

keep theologians, logicians

on retainer, if need

explanations.

 

none know, can provide,

still and yet, a

priestly sacred chord,

grants relief,

absolution,

song of hallelujah

the ache of

perpetuity worry,

that ancient pain,

grows fresher daily,

the loss of one,

of my body,

my primal knot

unreasonable,

everything should be

permitted to be untied,

on my birthday, no?

 

this day, these days

breathe through words,

molecules of vowels,

stem cells of consonants,

the fabric, the tissues of life,

veins are a dictionary

of corpuscles,

red blood cells are

nouns of nutrients.

 

this day, these days,

the infection of my soul

is tempered, kept at bay,

tamped down from the

full flowering

of white blood cells

of rhyme, verse.

 

what if the poetry ceases?

 

Though the bones creak,

the body they carry. resurrect

for morning, afternoon

and evening prayers.

 

thrice daily poetry I recite,

roses red, violets blue,

my marrow transfused.

 

though my prayers refused,

the poetry act immolates

the fringes of my disease,

for which the common cure

is not currently invented....

 

what if the poetry ceases?

 

but be assured, told

scientists hard at work,

on the

forgive n' forget drug.

 

meantime,

take a bubble bath in

rosemary and mint

trap some words,

tap some words into

your cell phone bone,

the poetry heat that

provides aspirin relief.

 

through this poem,

on one day annual,

I am relieved, relived

the muse is feted, sated,

 

gone for few moments

concerns, worries of

exposure today,

agnostic's foxhole of hell

is dis-remembered,

the gloss returns,

the faux dispatched,

 

ain't birthdays grand?

 

what if the poetry ceases?

 

what rhymes with

Sorrow?

mmmmm,

could it be

Morrow?

 

bath drains, rosemary and mint

odors dismissed, the  Argentine disparu,

the Spanish Medievalists,

the Neo-Raphaelites,

all gone,

didn't they have birthdays too?

 

didn't know

the Renaissance come

and go,

and nobody

tole ya?

 

please recall t'is the day

after my sweet city recorded my

naissance in the

Hospital of the Flowers

on Fifth Avenue.

 

the 'crats put the datum

in the bureau with the

night creams and

the statistics

as follows:

 

on this day + a few,

six or twenty decades ago +

a few centuries,

a question was born,

and an ache that is

sometimes relieved,

by a poem song.

 

though do not celebrate,

t'is a day to calibrate,

review, edit, tinker,

rewrite, often a stinker.

 

always one thought recycles:

 

what if the poetry ceases?

 

(how will I breathe?)

Request permission to use this poem
Written by
nat-lipstadt
99 / M / NYC/Lippstadt/Kraków
Published
Oct 11, 2013
Lines·Words
171·580
Notes

Notes: my birthday was a few weeks ago. One of a number poems I've written about birthdays. This one was modified, but only slightly for Maria and Logan.

Tags
#yesterday#was#my#birthday
Permission

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