I spend my nights with darkness looming over me.
A steady feeling of emptiness accompanies me in the day.
Words never seem to be heard the way that people mean them to be.
Words are something that I cannot seem to properly say.
Everyday I feel that I am alone in a crowd full of people.
Everyday I feel that I would be better off dead.
The people around me would surely be happier.
This isn't just all in my head.
Why should I try only to fail?
All my life I have been running from rejection.
In a moment I scream of abandonment.
I push and I pull for control of my life.
Every moment is life or death.
This feeling is an infection.
Thoughts of dying.
Thoughts of blood.
Thoughts of being a mistake.
I couldn't erase these thoughts if I tried.
My mind echos so loudly that I cannot hear.
My voice catches in my throat.
All I feel are insecurities.
All I want is to disappear.
It is the fact that no one understands me.
They can't see that I cant understand them.
That I try to fight for control.
They don't see how hard I try to keep it all inside.
The burden that I have come to be.
No one can ever love me.
I can never love myself.
At some point you just wash away thinking that you'll never be enough.
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 4:24 PM UTC
I spend my nights with darkness looming over me.
A steady feeling of emptiness accompanies me in the day.
Words never seem to be heard the way that people mean them to be.
Words are something that I cannot seem to properly say.
Everyday I feel that I am alone in a crowd full of people.
Everyday I feel that I would be better off dead.
The people around me would surely be happier.
This isn't just all in my head.
Why should I try only to fail?
All my life I have been running from rejection.
In a moment I scream of abandonment.
I push and I pull for control of my life.
Every moment is life or death.
This feeling is an infection.
Thoughts of dying.
Thoughts of blood.
Thoughts of being a mistake.
I couldn't erase these thoughts if I tried.
My mind echos so loudly that I cannot hear.
My voice catches in my throat.
All I feel are insecurities.
All I want is to disappear.
It is the fact that no one understands me.
They can't see that I cant understand them.
That I try to fight for control.
They don't see how hard I try to keep it all inside.
The burden that I have come to be.
No one can ever love me.
I can never love myself.
At some point you just wash away thinking that you'll never be enough.
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