therapy i // heavy

it feels so fucking heavy on my chest like an anvil its so hard to breathe rattling chest shaky breathes small lungs it feels like im fucking suffocating im dizzy i want to cut i say itll bring me back and maybe it does but the shakiness doesnt stop just awake and trembling i cut myself to stay alive i dont cut myself because i want to die i cut myself to stay alive but now i think i just like it and the way it feels and how the scabs form and feeling the pulse of pain when i run my fingers over the mending why cant i just want to live why doi always want to fucking die to stop i know i mlucky the luckiest girl in the world

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