One year. It felt like a cloudy night sky.
Nothing. Darkness, suffocating, painful darkness.
And then, occasionally, there were fireworks.
Moments of joy that last for seconds, until they fade away.
I’ve been trudging through this darkness
With no progress, no developments
Beyond who I am inside.
But the world doesn’t stop turning.
I still feel inadequate and talentless.
I still feel like an empty void
That has it together well enough that no one would look inside.
But I’m about to tear apart.
I need to do something!
I can’t be a parasite.
But there’s nothing I can do.
I feel so wrong.
Help me so I don’t need help.
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 4:54 PM UTC
One year. It felt like a cloudy night sky.
Nothing. Darkness, suffocating, painful darkness.
And then, occasionally, there were fireworks.
Moments of joy that last for seconds, until they fade away.
I’ve been trudging through this darkness
With no progress, no developments
Beyond who I am inside.
But the world doesn’t stop turning.
I still feel inadequate and talentless.
I still feel like an empty void
That has it together well enough that no one would look inside.
But I’m about to tear apart.
I need to do something!
I can’t be a parasite.
But there’s nothing I can do.
I feel so wrong.
Help me so I don’t need help.
I've still been writing, just not as much as before. University has been a huge waste of time so far and completely killed my creativity. I also feel alone and useless, so it's been fun lately.
Sorry for vanishing for 6 months, I haven't forgotten about you all.
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