Who Am I?

Who Am I? I am a boy and a man. I am a son, a brother, a cousin, a nephew, and a grand child. I was a boyfriend, a fiancé, a husband, and an in-law. I am a bachelor. I am surrounded and abandoned. I am a family man and a loner. I am a homemaker and a handyman. I wear the apron and the tool belt. I am a neat freak and a slob. I am an amateur contractor and a contracted amateur. I am a dumpster diver, a recycler, and a decadent waste. I am a glutton, a scavenger, and a scrapper. I am a friend and an enemy. I am fun and an annoyance. I am a lover and a hater. I am creepy, cruel, and harsh. I am tender, loving, and inviting. I have a foul mouth and tender lips, Drenched in jagged, soft-serve words. I am a painter, sculptor, draftsman, sketcher, character designer, photographer, graphic designer, fashion designer, kitbasher, customizer, and crafter. I am a reader, a writer, and a poet. I am the Jail Baby, Ryan & Lisa, The Phoenix, The AntiFather, and The HEYMAN! I compose symphonies of visual and intangible imagery. I bring form to thought. I destroy, I create. I am an artist. I am a geek, nerd, freak, and otaku. I have been punk, goth, prep, white trash, and metrosexual. I wear glasses, But only as a sick joke. I am beautiful and ugly, Clean and dirty. I am unique. I am predictable. I have changed, but am still the same. I am a techie, An electronic junkie. I am cutting edge and old school. Digitally signed and sealed. I am analog and obsolete. I am an adrenaline addict. I can chill, maybe slow, But never relax. I am blue collar, tradesman, and service industry. I am peon and pissed on. Oh, but I have done the pissing too! I have been hired and fired, Bought and sold. I have worn the uniform, I have said, “Damn the man!” I am the proletariat, I am in charge. I am a student, dropout, and teacher. I am class clown and teacher’s pet. I have learned, forgotten, and taught, But never learned my lesson. I don’t listen to what I’m told, But always do what I tell. I am a genius, I am an idiot. I have intelligence, but often lack the intel. I am naïve, but wise. I am right and wrong. I have philosophies and ideas, But no religion. I have desecrated and blasphemed, Prayed and praised. I have lusted, envied, and coveted. I am guilty and innocent, Pure and soiled, Good and bad. I am a driver and a passenger. I am an explorer and a shut-in. I am wild and free, Caged and stifled. I was warmly wrapped in my blanket, But burned through it. I have rode, climbed, and conquered. I stood still. I jumped in. I have fallen and been defeated. I have been abroad, I have been nowhere. I have drifted. I have settled. I have led and been led. I have been in and out, Here and there, Around and AWOL, On the run and trapped. But, not everywhere. I have applied, I have procrastinated. I have worked my fingers to the bone, I have slept it off. I have fought and fled. I have quit. I have endured. I am a winner and a loser, A champ and a chump. I am fake, I am real. I have lied, cheated, and stole. I have been honest, fair, and generous. I am selfish and selfless. I am a gift giver, gift wrapper, and gift taker. I am a thief and a philanthropist. I am insecure and confident, Confused and absolutely sure. I am proud and ashamed. I am complicated and convoluted, But simple to please. I have blind faith and guarded suspicion I have secrets, But lie rarely. I accept everyone, I trust nothing. I have pointed the finger, Only to turn it on myself. I have held grudges and forgiven. I have trusted and misguided. I have been Judas and Jesus. I am a maniac, I am sane. I have been strong and weak. I can keep it together, But prefer to break it apart. I have bled. I have healed. I have been abused and neglected, Coddled and protected. I have been kissed and punched; Hunted, wanted, and arrested, Ignored, overlooked, and invisible. I have loved and lost, Lived and learned. I am a soldier of misfortune and opportunity. I have blended in. I have stood out. I have stood up. I have backed down. I have been backed into a corner. I have all the space in the world. I have seen, interpreted, and perceived, I have ignored, dismissed, and been blind. I hunger, want, and need… I am satiated and content, But never at peace. I have been misunderstood and underestimated. I have been put down, put up, pushed away, and let in. I have been known, But never entirely. I have raged, cried, smiled, trembled, and laughed. I have been depressed. I have been happy. I have been suicidal. I have felt death. I have been lost and found. I have been broken, then fixed, Stitched, yet glitched, Scarred, but whole. I am alive. I took the chance, I let the moment slip. I walked the straight and narrow, I ran down the road not taken. I dream; some whole, some shattered. I go with the flow, but don’t let the waves take me. I am shards and reflections, Machinations and reactions. I am translucent pieces and parts, Assembled and disheveled. I am the big picture still focused on the details. I am the sum total of heredity and experience. I am not, I am more. I am everything and nothing. I am a walking contradiction. I am human. I tried to be you, But didn’t know what that meant. I am me, It’s all I know. Who are you?

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