I know I’ve left it all to wonder
and that’s no one’s fault but mine
because when you think you understand me, I’ve led to a lie
I never reveal all of what’s pressing on my mind
tiny fragments and feelings, just enough to get us by.
don’t know why I’m so afraid of letting you in
or why i hold my breath and bite the inside of my lip
I never give you enough to make you want to stay
never trusted anyone fully, just as well pushed them away.
I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry
it’s all that I have left
it’s what is standing behind my broken, hesitant breath.
I’ve done it I’ve don’t it I’ve done it
two times worse and three times over
paid myself for what was written, I’ll regret it when I’m older.
just leave just leave just leave
I’m not reason enough to stay
I lie, I run, I hide and you relate to my pain
but you don’t understand and damn it you won’t ever.
turn your back on me again, I swear to god I’m not clever.
I know you don’t believe me but you can’t know like I do
you scream the same lines back at me but I know this is true.
don’t speak don’t speak don’t speak
I’m much too tired to fight.
it’s hazy like a dream with only blurry lines.
call me wrong, call me stupid, say I’m dumb and naive.
but I’ve known since the beginning what was wrong about me.
I’m sorry that you read this and I’m sorry that you care.
sorry for every time I’ll disappoint you, and the thoughts I’ll never share.