He would bring you
all that and more
if you'd just let him
just this once
get over that frigidness
but no you don't or can't
it's not you
it's not you at all
you wish you could
but it isn't
going to happen
even though
other girls you know
have or will
you know you will not
not because he isn't worthy
but because you just can't
you can't even imagine that
him and you doing that thing
the girls whisper about
and giggle over
you are sure you wouldn’t
giggle or whisper
you'd be ashamed
to utter the secret
almost silent whisper
about such a thing
you wish you were still
a little girl
still as you were
before the changes
to your body
before things grew
and hair came
and ugliness filled you
no he will have to
find another
find another girl
to satisfy him
you muse standing
by the window
looking out
at a summer sky
and the orchard below
and the garden full of flowers
him down there
talking to Father
you step back in case
they see you
you wonder what
they are talking about
what it is that
is on their minds
as they stand there
you wish you could
but you can't not that
surely there must be other ways
you say to yourself
you feel it is true
what your sister said
you will be left
alone on the shelf.