I want to know you in the worst way
The face you make when you first wake up
Shocked by the alarm that goes off in the dark
Not the paper daisies spray-painted pink that you post
Your breath after a night of drinking
Your beaded forehead and sticky hair
Not the smooth skin I’ve used to weave my fantasies
I want to know you in the worst way
The uncontained, rageful vengeance you feel
When you’ve started the same sentence again
Not the voice of reason you’ve been lip-syncing with
The you that shouts unforgivables and cruelties
The you that begs for forgiveness for your cruelty
Not the stone that sits in the garden, forever the same
I want to know you in the worst way
The way someone used to love you
The one you tried your best with
Not the bridges you doused with gas out of “courtesy”
The you that dances alone in your room
By the spotlight of a cheap lamp you thrifted
Not the performer who’s comfortable on the daily stage
The you that floats like a paper daisy on the river