Why do I do this to myself?
Making lists in my head
Of why I should feel sad
Why I do feel sad
As if experiencing them once
Wasn't bad enough.
Why do I cling to the lyrics
Of depressing songs
Take the words to heart
And recite them under my breath
A mantra for the tears.
None of this helps
Reading words like this doesn't help.
I search for solidarity
In my loneliness
Hoping someone else
Is feeling the same as me
When really all I need
Is a distraction.
I eagerly await a better feeling
To flood my veins and consume me
But do nothing to create it
Except open my window
And hope it flies in.
I only ever mange to summon
A cold breeze that mingles with
The sound of the road below.
Maybe the chill of it will
Cool my flushed skin
And provide
The good sense
To put my feelings aside
And carry on with the day.