You were like a natural disaster to our lives.
While we played in a field.
No warning.
You appeared...
You struck and we lay scattered on that field...
In tears.
Confused.
In pain.
Broken inside out.
No longer just children.
Victims to young to understand that we were forever changed.
To young to understand why we felt ***** and guilty.
The threats and fear, made us silent...
Fear and interrogation made me lie.
You left us in that open space forever, no matter where we went.
And our lives were taken...
Our parents were broken, because parents break when thier children are hurt.
And my lie...
My lie forever changed my protectors life.
My fear made me hurt another.
We were so young...
Some not old enough for school.
Our fear allowed the disaster to strike others...
Now as adults we know a new guilt.
But we were so young.
This very unnatural disaster still walks the earth...
Somebody gives this pervert comfort...
But we are forever changed.
Stronger today, yes...
But never again as free as before he stole our innocence.
This disaster turned our world upside down, and revisited us for years taking more of us each time he put his disgusting hands on us.
I'm not to religious, but I believe in God.
I have yet to know the reason for this, except that we are great protective parents...
And as I believe there's a God...
I know there is also a hell.
And while God tells us to forgive...
I have yet to forgive even myself for being so full of fear, because it allowed him to walk free and hurt us again and again, and others through time.
There is no part of us sacred or untouched by that evil...
No matter who knows our story, there's no person not even eachother who understands the depth of our individual torment.
The unfair torture of feeling an isolated, unexplainable, personal taste of evil.
Like a natural disaster, he struck us down...
Children at play made victims of a child molester.
Survivor's!
Of a sick family member's distgusting taste for extremely young children.
We can't say we are ok.
We refuse to say you are anything more then a creature that has not yet met God's wrath.
And dare not say, you to know abuse...
Dare not say you found God...
God and abuse will find you when your six feet under.
I know I sin as I write this...
But to forgive...
As a mother myself...
Well that's it's not in me.
Do unto others...
Do unto others, that's how I live.