I was only nine when you took my innocence,
and now that I’m older I’ve been trying to make sense.
I could have loved him, I think if it wasn’t for you,
but with each kiss I felt yours, and I couldn’t go through.
I never let him in because what if he didn’t understand,
the way that it felt to be used by a man?
I know that by now your body has rotted,
but the things that you did won’t be easily forgotten.
Each time is a struggle when I find someone new,
and they try to touch me like young lovers do.
I get sick to my stomach and feel uneasy,
and it leaves me feeling dirty and guilty.
I find myself wondering if I'll end up alone,
or if someone would love me despite what they'd know.
If I could give them everything without pulling away,
and if it took time, how long they would wait.