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anastasia Feb 2014
i'm the type of girl
who will scribble your name
onto my homework
over and over
until my wrist starts to hurt-
who loves to stand in the woods
and listen to the secrets
the blowing wind
whispers through her hair-
who can't go a day
without a cup of coffee
to wake up my insides
when feeling hollow-
who will catch myself
singing old love songs
that remind me of you
but sadden my soul-
who's lips will quiver
and hands will shake
when you ask me a question-
that would sit beside you
in complete silence
not knowing what to say-
who's mind eats her inside out
when left alone-
who has scars on her soul
but stood strong all those times
simply for your existence-
who would stumble into your arms
while drunk and vulnerable
looking for someone
to carry me home-
who would open up to you
if you asked me to
while laying beside you
on the hood of your car
staring out at the stars
when it's past my curfew
anastasia Feb 2014
you asked me a question
you already knew the answer to
probably just wanting
to hear my voice
give into you
but i tried my hardest not to
so you came closer
and spoke of nonsense
i've always dreamt of
talking about
with you
and made my soul flutter
but when you would ask me to talk
my hands would get lost
and my lips quiver
leaving my words
to tumble out
like a shiver
and right in that moment
of my fear and anxiety
body shaken and unsteady
would have been the perfect timing
for you to lean in
and plant your lips upon my own
but sadly
you didn't
for you don't feel the same about me
as i do you
and we were in public
not in secret
like i have always imagined
and lastly
you were taken by her
but i was taken away by you
a long, long time ago
anastasia Nov 2013
i learned a lesson long ago
not to trust or believe anyone you know
they are full of it
they think they know it all
what’s best for you
but it’s not true
they’ll do anything they want
they’ll get in your way
as long as there are pleased
you are ** either way
you’ll never get what makes you happy
not if someone rules your life
makes all your decisions
or decides what’s wrong and what’s right
they’ll lead you into the wrong path
the wrong way to go
and I know exactly where it’s headed
but you don’t want to know
you’ll become overwhelmed, panicked, in fear..
you’ll experience unknown feelings you’ve never felt, my dear
telling them what’s happened
won’t help in any way
no one will believe it
no matter what you say
they’ll call you names
they’ll call you crazy
don’t even try, or else they’ll put you in a cellar
keep you locked up, holding you inside
forcing the torture down your throat
it will happen, i know
if you follow in another’s path instead of creating your own
anastasia Nov 2013
i wish it were you
saying you're sorry
over how you never loved me
the same way
i loved you
but it's not
it's me
i'm the one who's sorry
i'm sorry i was never good enough
sorry i never tried hard enough
or caught your eye
i'm sorry i wasn't as beautiful
as you would have wished
sorry i was too ugly inside
for you to love me
i'm sorry that no matter how hard
i tried
you never noticed
you never took interest
and never seemed to care
i'm sorry you never felt
the same way
as i felt
for you
i'm sorry
and it should be you
telling me you're sorry
that you never
loved me back
and put me through
all those years
of pain
tears
hopelessness
and
crushed dreams
because you never
ever
took notice in me
or were gentle
when it came to
my feelings
for you
but it's me who's sorry
sorry i was never
good enough
for you
and someday
i hope you
can forgive me too

— The End —