The way you write about her is the same way I write about you
You spill your thoughts about her beauty
I spill my tea all over the pages that have your name written all over it just so it can be blank again
You planted a seed into my skull the night our lips intertwined with one another
That seed soon grew into a beautiful flower

But you forgot to water it

The flower is dying because she knows you are in love with the other girl
It's fading away, the same way I faded away the next day
But you see, the roots of that flower soon grew down into my veins, down into my tummy, looped in between my ribs
Now whenever I see you, I can feel them sprouting down into my legs & I can feel the tingling sensation on my fingertips
It felt as if I was lying next to you tracing over your scars & tattoos in the dark because I know exactly where they are marked on your body and how your skin gets goosebumps whenever I trace your neck
I can feel the flower blossom all over again, again & again
But I want it to stop growing
I want it to die the same way I died in your memory
The same way you never thought of me
The same way you never loved me
Soon this compelling flower that once bloomed will no longer glow
Although it will still have a beautiful meaning even if its all dried up like someone came & ****** all of its love away
The same way you did to me
I will rip the dead flower out of my skull, out of my memory
I'll do it exactly the way you vanished me out of your thoughts
Then I'll rip off every petal reciting he loves me he loves me not
I kissed the last dry petal away & recited my last words
He loves me not
He never did
He never will
But its ****** up how I still find it beautiful
Because even if you never watered that flower, it still blossomed into a beautiful tragedy.

I’ve come to realize that the concept of time and how much you love me are exactly the same.
As much as I wish I could hold both in my hands, I cant.

They both don’t exist.

It’d be nice to sit outside at 3 in the morning on a summer night with another human being watching the stars glow.
We could sit there for hours, talking about the universe.
Talking about life.
Talking about the mysterious and fascinating wonders of the world.
Then I’d glimpse at you and see your curious eyes look up at the sky.
The same way you look at me in the eyes with your palm against my cheek.
Perhaps we could kiss and I will be able to feel all the star dust building up inside of me.
And together we become one.
A bundle of energy so powerful that even the farthest galaxies will see how bright we shine.
Maybe we could hold hands and I’ll trace every line carved within your skin.
I might even let you see my naked soul, but only if you let me see yours.
We can explore the human body and taste ever fragment of energy within you.
Your radiant soul is connected with mine, and we are connected to the universe.
So you won’t belong to me, you belong to the universe.
To endless stars and endless planets.
So when we look into the sky at 3 in the morning on a summer night, we don’t only see the stars glow,
We see ourselves within.
                                                                                 -j.c.

Your touch is as magical as a star shooting across the dark sky
Your soothing lips fit gently perfect with mine
Your beautiful soul shines like star dust left behind
Your smile amazes me like watching galaxies intertwine
Your soul, that’s what I fell in love with
Your mind, that’s what I can connect with
Our bodies make beautiful music with each passionate kiss
Your skin will be singing melodies that your lips are not familiar with
I will show you what love is, or rather love will show you who I am
And we will call each other home because we belong within each other
Somehow everything seems to be okay when I’m with you
The fact that you’re flawless and perfectly put together amazes me too
The color of your eyes is a reflection of euphoria
And I crave you
                      you.
                        you.
                          you.
How your strong arms hold me when we’re together in bed
How you know every strand of hair on my head
You’re the best book I've ever read
You’re my favorite letter in the alphabet
The smell of your chest is my favorite scent
And if heaven exists then you are heaven sent
Your aura is a mixture of beautiful colors my eyes have never met
The way you say my name when your eyes meet mine
The way you grab me from behind
The way your soul shines
The way you take each breath when you’re asleep by my side
Your mind, body & soul is the reason I’m alive
                                                           ­                      -j.c.

Happiness used to be something I could grasp
I relied on someone for happiness, thinking it would last
But that person saw me directly in the face with a mask
A mask of broken parts that he could not put himself back together
But only because he’s a man does not make him better
Since I relied my happiness on him, when he left I was gone too
I only blame myself for loving you
Caring for you
Giving you everything I had to offer to you
And what did you do?
In return I got lies
You were a fake man in disguise
Thinking if you could get me to fall in love you’d be lucky enough to get between my thighs
Now you’re name is engraved in the blunt when I get high
You see, don’t ever rely
Don’t ever rely your happiness in a guy
Because one day he could leave you in despair without a goodbye
He’ll leave you empty inside
Crying yourself to sleep at night
Wanting to die
And leave an unanswered question..
A simple why?
I’ll tell you why
Because he was brought into my life for a reason, although at first it wasn't clear
He was my first love, and now sadly love is my biggest fear
But I learned from this experience and the end is not near
Why?
Because this is simply life and life brings us many pains
Or joyful memories like when I danced with him in the rain
From that point and on, nothing was ever the same
People come and go
I’m sure that’s something everyone knows
But not everyone knows that no matter what size or color you are, you’re beautiful as a rose
Happiness used to be something I could grasp
I relied on someone for happiness thinking it would last
But I’m in a new chapter in my life and that is part of my past
And I am no longer crying over that *******
Why?
I found happiness
I found it on those sleepless nights
When I would peek outside at 6 in the morning and see the new sunshine
I found it in moments when my friends and I would laugh so hard it brought tears to our eyes
I found it when I fell in love with poetry and I sit down and write, write, write..
I found it in the simple things in life.
                                                                                    -j.c.