Make up your mind
Cause sooner or later you're gonna find
Youself all alone
I can't take this anymore
One minute you love me
The next you hate
One minute you need me
The next I'm thrown by the way side
One minute you're running to me
The next you're walking away
You wear me down with the words you say
And the things you do
I don't know who you turn into
And I don't know how to get you back
One minute you don't wanna get out of bed
The next you don't come around
One minute you make me feel alive
The next I wish that I could crawl up and die
I let it go
I let it slide one too many times
But I can't do this anymore
I don't know what it is that sets you off
I don't know who you are
Or where you go
But when you come
Back I'll be gone

Lit cigarette sits in the ashtray
Bottle caps scattered all around
Silence the only sound
She takes a drag as he takes a sip
Next to each other but a million miles apart
Out in the world it's a shell made of rainbows and butterflies
Hand holding and loving stares
Behind these four walls it all falls apart
She wonders where she's gone
What used to feel so right now feels so wrong
He looks in her eyes to find the light that's gone away
There's nothing he won't do to bring her back
But it's out of his hands
He'll be patient, he'll wait
In his heart he knows she'll be back one day
She traces get steps but seems to have lost her way
He can see she cares
Even through the blank stares
He can see her under there

Looking in the mirror
Trying to find some good inside of me
But all I seem to see
Is the beast that lies within
The beast I try to hide
Deep down inside
But it keeps finding its way up to my mind
Corrupting my thoughts
Controlling my actions
I don't know what has become of me
But I like what I see
Watching myself change
Becoming what once felt so strange
Thoughts becoming deranged
I'm in the middle of myself
Feeling so estranged
Divided between the beast within
And the man I've always been
So I stand here
Looking in the mirror
Trying to find some good inside of me
But all I seem to see
Is the beast that lies within
The beast I try to hide
Deep down inside
But it keeps finding its way up to my mind
Blinding me
Binding me to the beast within
Lashing out
All I kept hidden down inside
Finding its way out through the words
That I thought I could never speak
I can not stay the same
Everything I thought I could never be
Lies here within me
Everything I thought I could never be
Stares back at me
Looking in the mirror
Trying to find some good inside of me
But all I seem to see
Is the beast that lies within
The beast I try to hide
Deep down inside
Looking in the mirror
Trying to find some good inside of me
Some good inside of me
But all I seem to see
Is the beast that lies within
The beast that lies within
Lies within....

This is still in the works:

As you walk away
Pouring gasoline with each step
The door slamming
Sets the fire in motion
You were
You are
My one
My only
So I'll sit here and watch this beautiful fire
As each memory goes up in flames
They'll remain forever burned onto the walls of my mind
As the flames kiss my body
I find the pleasure in the pain
There burns up the memory of the first time I saw you
Here burns the memory of our first kiss
Who thought it'd end like this
But I'd rather live in pain
Than forget everything I've felt

Standing on the corner of State and Lake
When you came my way
My world was colorless
With one smile you painted every inch, every crevice
Your eyes the color of the oceans and skies
Your lips the color of cherries
I wanna press them against mine
Spent so much time trying to stay between the lines
I became blind to the beauty outside them
Here you stand in a dress the color of night
Lighting up everything in sight

Crime and Punishment

I'm sitting here inside my cell right outside your heart
There's nothing I can do but serve my time
Breaking your heart not my only crime
I took you for granted
I thought you'd always be around
Your words echo inside my head " it's not me it's you"
The sound of your heart breaking against the floor is all I hear
The sight of you walking out the door is all I see
I destroyed everything good with the ugly brought out when we fight
I don't know who it is that I become
Self control out of sight
But I swear to you I'll undo everything that I've done
All I wanted to be is the reason you smile
But all I've become is the one who brings tears to your eyes
But for now
I'm sitting here inside my cell right outside your heart
There's nothing I can do but serve my time
Breaking your heart not my only crime
I took you for granted
I thought you'd always be around
Your words echo inside my head " it's not me it's you"

Here I am
Staring at the man I used to be
Here I am
Staring at the man I have become
Remembering all the things I've done
All the battles I have won
And all the ones I have lost
I have fallen
And I have stood tall
I've  had everything
And I've had nothing at all
Here I am
Staring at the man I used to be
Here I am
Staring at the man I have become
All these things that I have done make me complete
These memories in my mind that will never recede
I have been blinded by optimism
And I have seen reality
I have hidden my pain deep inside
So no one would see
I have watched myself fall apart
And I have put myself back together
I have won and I have lost
The respect of many
I have seen and I have heard
The words that burn my being
Here I am
Staring at the man I used to be
Here I am staring at the man I have become
I have crashed and I have burned
I have  lived and I have learned
I have drowned in the abyss
And I have flown to the stars above
I have hated and I have loved
I have killed and I have died
I have laughed
And I have cried
Here I am
Staring at the man I used to be
Here I am
Staring  at the man I have become
All these things that I've done
All these things that made me
Who I am today

Dear Dreams
I hope you hear my calls
Hope won't answer
Faith is nowhere to be found
And Doubt  won't leave me alone
Dear Dreams you're all I got left
I know it's been some time since we last met
But Sleep  hasn't visited me in a while
And I don't any other way to get to where you are
So I'm calling out to you
I'm racing against the sun
Trying to outrun the light
Just for one night

The day sneaks up behind me
Telling me my time has come
Time to leave behind all that I've worked for
Knocking on every door
Begging  for a chance at life
I'm leaving and I have one wish
Don't forget me when I leave
Don't forget me when I fall into the emptiness
Don't forget me when I try to escape what consumes me
My time has come to say goodbye
My flight to the heavens has arrived
Survived the battle of life for so long
Everyday closer to the loss of this everlasting battle
Don't know if my imprints in this life will last forever
I'm leaving and I have one wish
Don't let me drift away into the nothingness of the forgotten
Don't let me fade into a memory
Don't let me be lost amongst the commons
I came and I made my mark
Used my dreams to light way out of the dark
Wanna be remembered as more then just a common man
Want people to give a **** about me when I leave this cage
Don't want to be recieved into the hands of the unmourned
Don't want to spend eternity feeling forlorn
I'm leaving and I have just one wish
Don't let me turn into a torn page from a notebook
All I have in this world means nothing when I'm gone
I don't want all that you have of me to be just another memory
Want my story told for all to hear
So I can rid myself of this fear
I'm leaving and I have just one wish
Don't leave me in this cage lingering in the dark space in the back of your mind
Don't wanna be lost for no one to find
Getting tired of being left behind
Stepped up on this plateau
Up here for the world to see
That this is me and I won't be forgotten
Won't be forgotten
I'm leaving this world and I have just one wish
One wish
Don't forget me
Don't forget me

Wounded, shattered, broken
Left for dead out in the open
The air stolen out of my lungs
The last time we kissed
Left here gasping
Grasping onto dissipating hope
The light fades into darkness
As you walk away
Pleading, begging, wishing
For one more kiss, one more touch
Even just a look into your eyes so blue
Eyes that could see right through my flaws
See through my walls
And love the parts of me I didn't know existed
To have a single word you utter
Reach my ears
The soothing sound of your voice
That I shall hear no more
As the life flees from my body
I want you to know
I love you more than I could ever say
Getting to see you every day
Made me thankful every morning I awoke
If you're truly gone I pray in the morning I shall not wake

I see you
You're jaded
Your smile
Has Faded
Tell me where to go
Tell me where to look
Cause there's no place I won't go
Nothing I won't do
To see your beautiful smile again
You brought a smile to my face
And now the one you had has gone away
Now it's my turn to put your smile
Back where it belongs
You try to hide it but
I see you
You're jaded
Your smile
Has Faded
Tell me where to go
Tell me where to look
Cause there's no place I won't go
Nothing I won't do
To see your beautiful smile again
You brought light into my life
You protected me from myself
Now let me protect you
Tell me what it is that you see
When you close your eyes
You tell me lies
Saying everything's all right
But I can see you falling apart inside
You try to hide but
I see you
You're jaded
Your smile
Has Faded
Tell me where to go
Tell me where to look
Cause there's no place I won't go
Nothing I won't do
To see your beautiful smile again

I know I had a life before you
I'll get back to it once we're through
Like all good things
This will surely come to an end
It's right around the bend
But right now I don't wanna take my hands off you
Seeing the world through these enchanted eyes
I don't know if I can go back to
The world I lived in before you
But I've seen the end of this fairy tale
You go your way
And I go mine
To remain strangers with shared memories
Happily never after until the end of time

I don't know how you got in
But I can't get you out of my head
You came and turned my world right side up
Couldn't see the bright side until I looked into your eyes
Woke on the wrong side of the bed everyday
Now it doesn't matter where I wake up
As long as I'm next to you

Kylin
Around you I can't help smiling
And it isn't going anywhere
Kylin
With one touch you got me flying
And I'm not coming down anytime soon
Kylin
The view is much better with you
Up here in outer space

Your kiss so addicting
Your touch got me tripping
A smile that's got me buzzing
Feeling everything and nothing at the same time
The sounds you make
Sweeter than any melody
You've got this energy I wanna dive into
Let's commit some divine sins
I've been living for a while
But for the first time I feel alive

Kylin
Around you I can't help smiling
And it isn't going anywhere
Kylin
With one touch you got me flying
And I'm not coming down anytime soon
Kylin
The view is much better with you
Up here in outer space

You had pieces of me I didn't even know were missing
You were the answer to questions I didn't know to ask
You were the destination though I didn't know where I was going
You were the breathe though I didn't know I was suffocating
You were the ending to a story I didn't know I was writing
You are destiny disguised as happenstance

Kylin
Around you I can't help smiling
And it isn't going anywhere
Kylin
With one touch you got me flying
And I'm not coming down anytime soon
Kylin
The view is much better with you
Up here in outer space

Looking out my window late at night
For a star to wish upon
Cause I'm looking for a dream to keep me going
Cause my hope and inspiration's all gone
I've flown up to stars
I've swam in the ocean down below
I've still got no place to go
Nowhere left to search to find a dream
Running out of ambition
Running out of inspiration
I've given it my all
I've come too far to fall now
I've been looking for a dream
To give some purpose to this purposeless life
I need something to keep me going til the end
I'm looking for a dream
A dream to lift the hope left me
To finish this life that I've started
I'm looking for a dream
To give my life a new meaning
Cause everything seems to have gone wrong
Can't keep playing this song of self pity anymore
I need a dream to give me something to live for
A dream where I can escape reality every now and then
My life's standing still
Stuck on this road with no end
I've given it my all
I've come too far to fall now
I've been looking for a dream
To give some purpose to this purposeless life
I need something to keep me going til the end
I'm looking for a dream
Looking for a dream
For a dream....

Are you hiding inside your shell
Are you standing in the corner
Are you happy in this hell
Is the box you're put in getting a little small
Are you tired of living with your back against the wall
Open your eyes and your mouth
Come on just yell
Let it all out
Step out of the shadows
Let them all know you're here
Let's cuff the hands of time
And lose the keys
No more living just to die
Too many moments have passed us by
There's nothing you can find at the bottom of a bottle
You can't find in the world outside
We all look at the same sky
Wish upon the same stars
Wishing we could break free from it all
No matter how much you deny
It's as simple as it seems
It's not about falling it's about
Getting back up
The strength is inside you and me
Don't let the world bring you down
Take my hand I'll lift you up
It's no longer time to be alone
There's more to life than you've seen
Experience it before your gone
No it's not as cold as it seems
Solitude has been your home too long
But it's broken down
You think you're making a statement
Making waves
But you're just going unnoticed
Take a chance before it's too late
Cause you never know when it's your time
Step out of the cage you put yourself in
Come on the doors open
Take a step outside
Let go of the second guessing
And the self pitying
Take a chance and love yourself
You know you deserve it
Even just for a little while
You dont think you exist outside
Your mind
But you are here
You are something
Just let yourself show
I can see the yearning deep down in your soul
Tame it and let it free you'll be whole
You'll be complete

You never know when inspiration will strike
There you were dancing on the rooftop
Lit cigarette in hand
This pen is my paintbrush
I try to paint you with words
I try to capture your essence
But I fail
Searching my arsenal of words to no avail
Hair flowing like wheat in the wind
Eyes like burning ember
With each motion of the of the pen
My inability to illustrate became more apparent

Spent so much time trying to find the words
To get you across to you
Searching for eloquence
But there's so much elegance in simplicity
Take a seat behind my eyes
Take a peak, catch a glimpse
And see that you are a masterpiece
Words could never capture the beauty from your skin to your soul
Hasn't been that long since we met
But you've taken my heart yet I still feel whole

Everything you gave me
Is in a box burning in the rear view
Driving through memory lane
One last time before I leave it all behind
There's the coffee shop where met
You walked in it was like like a movie scene
Everything faded out of view
The only thing my eyes saw was you
There's the pool hall where we had our first kiss
The rain was coming down
Looking into your eyes
The world around slowed and I knew that this was it
The love people only dream of
I can still feel your hand reach for mine
I can still feel your head on my shoulder as I drive
There's the place we used to park
And spent hours talking, kissing, loving
Inside these four doors was a world that was just ours
There's the pizza place we went almost everyday
I can hear the sound you make when you're full
There's the bed we spent so much time in
I still lean over to kiss you when I wake at night
Only to find you're not there
There's the place we spent our first Valentine's Day
The docks overlooking the shore
Looking into your eyes
Loving you more and more
As I drive away
I'll leave pieces of my broken heart
So you can find your way to me if you so choose
Call me a ******* or whatever you wish
But I know I'll never find a love like this
Until then I'm moving on
Leaving NYC
For the second city
For a second start
Everything you gave me
Is in a box burning in the rear view
Driving through memory lane
One last time before I leave it all behind

You gave me all of your love
And I spent it til you had nothing left
Now here you are broke and jaded
I'll repay you with all the love I never gave
My hopes, my dreams mean nothing if I can't kiss you everyday
Thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go
But I was so wrong
Tell me is it too far gone
Cause I still feel it
Our story ain't over yet
Take my hand and we'll write the ending you deserve

Used to want my name up in lights
Now I just wanna see the light in your eyes
Used to want to sing my songs and hear the crowd singalong
Now I just wanna hear you say my name
Used to want to move the crowd to the beat of my music
Now I just I want my heart to beat
Used to want the big house, nice cars
Now I just want you
In a tent or a box anywhere you are is home

You gave me all of your love
And I spent it til you had nothing left
Now here you are broke and jaded
I'll repay you with all the love I never gave
My hopes, my dreams mean nothing if I can't kiss you everyday
Thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go
But I was so wrong
Tell me is it too far gone
Cause I still feel it
Our story ain't over yet
Take my hand and we'll write the ending you deserve

Thought there was nothing I wouldn't give for that dream life
The fame the fortune
But it ain't no life without you
I gave up the one thing worth more than all that
Eyes that are the brightest blue
A smile that I'd do anything to see
Hands that fit perfectly in mine
What I wouldn't do for one more kiss
Used to think I was destined for greatness
But there's nothing greater than being with you

You've got no reason to believe
No reason to trust me
But if any part still feels anything
I'll show that this time wasn't for nothing
I know we've done this dance
But this is the last one last chance

You gave me all of your love
And I spent it til you had nothing left
Now here you are broke and jaded
I'll repay you with all the love I never gave
My hopes, my dreams mean nothing if I can't kiss you everyday
Thought I was doing the right thing by letting you go
But I was so wrong
Tell me is it too far gone
Cause I still feel it
Our story ain't over yet
Take my hand and we'll write the ending you deserve

Walking alone was all I’ve ever known
Until you came along and gave me your hand to hold
One smile made me weak                                                          
One kiss brought me to my knees
My mind said no
But my heart said yes
Now I’m here cleaning up the mess

Sun leaves and the moon arrives
I guess it must be night
Haven't slept since you left
Here I stand broom in hand
Picking up pieces of my heart
Memories scattered all over the floor
The door still open from when you came and left
In and out just like a hurricane
You broke down my walls
Leaving me open and cold

Time to rebuild
Time to start over anew
Without you
I’ll start with the pieces of my heart
I don’t know what goes where
I’ll rebuild the walls
One brick at a time
But no door
So you can’t get in
And I can’t get out

Sun leaves and the moon arrives
I guess it must be night again
Haven't slept since you left
Here I stand broom in hand
Picking up pieces of my heart
Memories scattered all over the floor
The door still open from when you came and left
In and out just like a hurricane
You broke down my walls
Leaving me open and cold

I don’t know if it’ll ever be the same
Cause something’s missing here and it’s you
I’ve got the pieces of my heart
But it was you that held it together
I’m building the walls
But your name is etched on to every brick
No I don’t I’ll recover from this
I’d take the pain and heartache
Just to hear your lips whisper my name
My world’s upside down
Nothing’s right it’s all wrong
And I won’t be fine anytime soon
No not anytime soon

Sun leaves and the moon arrives
I guess it must be night
Haven't slept since you left
Here I stand broom in hand
Picking up pieces of my heart
Memories scattered all over the floor
The door still open from when you came and left
In and out just like a hurricane
You broke down my walls
Leaving me open and cold

You see the smile on my face
What you don't see is the tape and glue
Holding me together
Stitches and scars
Every one with its own story
Despite all this I've come so far

So pull me apart love
Break me down and
Leave me bleeding
I'll pick myself up
And keep living this life I'm leading
Give me your worst
I'd rather take this chance on you
Than sit with the what ifs
And could have beens

Looking in the mirror
Trying to find some good inside of me
But all I seem to see
Is the beast that lies within
The beast I try to hide
Deep down inside
But it keeps finding its way up to my mind
Corrupting my thoughts
Controlling my actions
I don't know what has become of me
But I like what I see
Watching myself change
Becoming what once felt so strange
Thoughts becoming deranged
I'm in the middle of myself
Feeling so estranged
Divided between the beast within
And the man I've always been
So I stand here
Looking in the mirror
Trying to find some good inside of me
But all I seem to see
Is the beast that lies within
The beast I try to hide
Deep down inside
But it keeps finding its way up to my mind
Blinding me
Binding me to the beast within
Lashing out
All I kept hidden down inside
Finding its way out through the words
That I thought I could never speak
I can not stay the same
Everything I thought I could never be
Lies here within me
Everything I thought I could never be
Stares back at me
Looking in the mirror
Trying to find some good inside of me
But all I seem to see
Is the beast that lies within
The beast I try to hide
Deep down inside
Looking in the mirror
Trying to find some good inside of me
Some good inside of me
But all I seem to see
Is the beast that lies within
The beast that lies within
Lies within....

They say
What doesn't **** you makes you stronger
They say
That time  heals all wounds
Insert whatever cliche you wish
It doesn't change all this
All that's been damaged
All that's broken
All that's been taken away
I don't know if I can survive much longer
They say just go with the flow
They say you should roll with the punches
Take your cliches and go away
The only place I wanna go is where you are
And tell you all I should have told you
To get back the only part of me that really mattered
And that's you
How could I have been so blind
How'd I lose sight of all that I had
All that I held so dear
What I wouldn't give to hold you now
To smell you
To breath the air around you

Staring at my steering wheel when our song came on
Sitting in traffic backed up on Lake Shore
Backed up like the blood in my veins
Cause my heart hasn't had a beat since you left
The only thing getting through are thoughts of you
Sitting bumper to bumper inside my mind
The road paved with good intentions and broken promises
The words I wanna speak
Sit single file at the tip of my tongue
Waiting to take their exit
I finally start moving
And just when I pick up speed
I pass by where we first kissed
I collide with the reality
That I'm stuck in place
The world may keep spinning
But I'm not going anywhere

Words

I pick up this pen
Expecting the words to just flow
Expecting magic just to happen
Like love, this can't be forced
I've gotta let the process take its course
Write and erase
Over and over
Until each word is perfectly placed
Put together in poetry or song
There is no right or wrong
Just what you feel
Music on in the background
Lyrics I wish I could steal
Can't connect to this like that song
All I write seems so wrong yet so right
All these words I link
Leaving out eloquence
Leaving out form
Forgetting the the consequences
Of what I've  written
The messages misconstrued
I sit subdued
Pen in hand
Expecting the words to just flow
Expecting magic to just happen

Can I get just a moment of your time
Can you sit down here just for a bit
I've been around the world
Trying to find the words to say to you
I've left no rock unturned
You made your peace
Now it's my turn
To tell you what is that you do to me
When our eyes meet
To tell you how I've been feeling for so long  
Sit down next to me
Open your mind and
Free your heart

I was thirteen when I first took this pen in hand
And the words flowed out of me
Emptying my soul where I stand
Picked up my guitar and strummed
Pieced together my first song
I hope they resonate long after I'm gone
Cause I can see the light
The ocean calls my name
The end of the road is near
I can hear the collective sigh of relief
When my coffins closed
Play my words
Maybe now they'll mean something
Now that I'm not here to speak them
Someone will listen
I hope my words fall on you
Like raindrops on your skin
Let them sink in  
Let them glisten
Let them resonate
Satiate your dreams
Nothing in this world is as it seems

From the minute you walked in
I knew I picked a fight I won't win
I know you'll break me
But that's alright
Do your worst
It's fine by me
You've given me faith
Even if just for a few days
I know this feeling isn't meant for me
But I just want a taste
Before you go away
From the minute you walked in
I knew I picked a fight I won't win
I know you'll break me
But that's alright
Do your worst
It's fine by me
I'd rather be broken by you
Than never know what it's like with you
I'll be alright
I know this is different
I know this is something else
I don't know where this is going
I don't know what you wanna do
I picked a fight I can't win
I know you'll break me