The fog rolled over the hills
Painting the mountains as the clouds never would
Delicate fingers of frost
On the proud fringes of trees
On the hoary, brittle grass
Covering, delicately, the brown of a snowless winter.

Every morning, when the sun rises
It comes up in a burst of glory
Turning my city into a valley of diamonds
As the fog slinks back to the shadowy vales
To wait for the night,
When it will cover, again, ever solid surface
With the jewels of Winter's generous king.

When darkness whispers in your ear
Songs of death throughout the years
When you stand among the graves
Of vanished friends and summer days
When it takes you by the hand
And leads you to an ash-scoured land
And gently, with a seductive smile
Hands you a knife, wreathed in its guile
Wraps your fingers around its hilt
Sweetly drains away your guilt
Pause, dear friend, and think on this
Where was it that you went amiss?

I have been lost, I walk alone
Condemned by some veiled Heaven's throne
But I am a living mortal yet
I have refused the gods' coronet
I could claim to rule my death and life
Drive deep the bright and shining knife
But I scorn that Throne and Crown
God can keep his pride -- I am my own.

There was a girl who would dance in the stars
She forgot who she was when the dark turned to dawn
And the sun once came up in its yellow and gold
And told her to rejoice because she'd grown to be old.

There once was a child who loved to pretend
In the storm of his mind, the stout trees would bend
Hills slept as dragons and old sticks were swords
But the dragons kept sleeping and he could find no wars.

An old man was sleeping on a dark green park bench
He dreamed of the nights with his love he had spent
And then he woke up in the afternoon light
And tried to be happy, because they'd all been right

They said "Once you live past the dark horrors of night
Surely, somehow, it will all be all right."
Graduate with honors, a wife and a job
You'll be set 'till the night comes -- and you meet God.

The fight had been over for many years now
But it still didn't feel like he'd won, somehow.
White snow turns brown when the winter is done
It's hard to keep fighting when they all say you've won.

Words won't come
To tell you how I feel
All I can do is smile when you talk to me
And try to be myself
And hope you notice.

I'm still awake
Still, as the cold seeps into my bones
And my candle gave up an hour ago
I toss like a raft in an ocean
Puppet of the waves, and yet riding above them.

Sing to me, please
Like you did when I was a child
When I still believed in God
When I didn't hate myself
Before I poured myself out for others to ignore.

I miss you
I will choke my pride and say it
Because the missing is more bitter than my ego.
I miss the way the world would sing
Vibrating with a passionate harmony.

I'm still young
But I feel very, very old
Weighed down with selfishness
Already wasting away as my blood peeks out
From the perfect razor lines on my skin.
Will anything ever change?
There are too many years left,
If this is all there is.
I miss you.
And I don't even know who you are.

The very blood in my veins looks for you,
Spinning around and around with
Every beat in my heart
Until it finds an exit and bleeds out
Just for the hope
Of hearing you sing
One last time.

I don't know who you are
But you're reading this,
For one reason or another.
Whether you're halfway across the globe,
We have something in common right now.
And I just wanted to say,
You're amazing.

The snow used to be sparkling and white
Now it's grey
Worn thin by the lukewarm days
Tired of pretending it's Christmas already.

The birds don't sing anymore
And I don't blame them
It's cold and the sun has gone into hibernation
Nobody is outside to hear them anyway.

The scars on my wrist are healing
Just in time for my concert
Good. I don't want to explain.
I'm tired of pretending as it is.

4.0 student, captain of debate team
Painfully, incredibly lonely
Like the birds, hiding in the bushes
Waiting out the winter
Nobody's around to hear me sing anyway.

The snow is grey, worn thin with impatience
Tired
So very, very tired.