Truth is
I can blame them for breaking my heart
I can scream loudly and tell of  how much I gave
My loyalty, my heart, my love....
Everything my father instilled in me
Though nonsensical, truth is, sometimes the very best is not desired by them
Truth is, signals of disaster went ignored
For the thought of life like the Cleavers
Fairy tale of 50's era love
Blinded by the immediate
Disposed warnings of the past
Miscarrying the trust of my future
All to live in the now
Now, this moment of smiles
This instant where laughter prevails
Exchanges of lured glances
Mine escaping as i'm exposed
Emotions spill over
Secrets, I cannot keep
Excitement at the possibility of him
Weakens the walls
Eventually they  tumble
To reveal what was once hidden
While his...yeah his... counterfeit at best
Simulated exercises
Maybe all to arrive at what lays below my waist
But I sensed....
Thought I saw a glimpse....
Betrayal that's plagued me all my life
Always present though from it I desperately flee
Easier to disregard than to affirm
Warning bells blaring
Managed to convince myself they were bells of the alter
But how can I blame them
When I surrender myself for slaughter
Melting into the arms of a dangerous stranger
Not heeding the voice of my father hopelessly screaming "WAIT"
I lunge into the sea of possibilities
Only to end up carried by currents to the sea of broken pieces
Shards of me destroyed
Truth is my pain is self inflicted
Never has my father not warned before the storm
Force myself to look in the mirror
Truth is..I always knew the truth
It was much more comfortable to live the lie
Truth is
I can blame them for breaking my heart
I can scream loudly and tell of  how much I gave
My loyalty, my heart, my love....
Everything my father instilled in me
Truth is
I bare responsibility for the tears I cry
I stand ashamed and disheartened at my truth revealed

Suddenly I find myself tumbling up a spiral staircase
Unexpected deliberate actions
Never intended to travel to this place
Though paradisiacal, tears flow as I fight back the flood
Your voice breaks my silence
Words from your lips piercing, intrusive
Cut straight through to my heart
The levees break, the dam is loose
I cry not for inflicted pain
I cry for the long wait that has now ended
I cry for the many times I wanted this
I cry for the hope of gold and not pyrite
I beg for blindness to resist the temptation to lead me
The twists and turns
The figure eights that begin and end in the same location
To disperse and become straight roads in a long journey
One of hope and not hurt
Accelerating into elation
Surging towards togetherness...oneness
Intertwine
Intertwine
Intertwine...

Hoping for the day
I can go back to a time once known
Days of vulnerability
No Great Wall of China surrounding
No fortified fortress to shelter
Just a chasing of "the great love"
Love that surpasses my understanding
The one to whom I would give
Every beat of my heart
High quality passion
Child of my womb
Caution to the wind
The man whose rib I would take to make me

Beauty from within
Wholesome
The one he dreams of
Arriving to sustain
Not to drain
Be the
Foundation upon which he builds
Arms that catch every fall
Strength in moments of weakness
Steadfast in the midst of desertion
Lips to give the kiss of appreciation

Though now faltering
Hands stretched out to keep my personal space
Revoked invitations to enter
Shoving back those who dare advance
Walls of steel with barbed wire
I use
To protect me.....
My sanity
My heart from your ache
My eyes from your gift of tears
Knees shielded from weakness
Don’t hit the ground in agony of loss
Loss of one still alive
Though chooses to be dead...
To me

Wanting to love again
Unaware of how
To let in
Anyone to try
I must confess
I'm scared

A glow shining from the inside out
As beautiful as the purple magnolias of Asia
Yet as rare as a bright orange Alaskan sunset
So long separated by time and distance
I almost do not recognize the vision set before me
Reality with the ability to transform
Distrusting my eyes
Afraid they may conspire to betray me
To lead me to the path of blunder
Surrendering me to lies and ruin
Outward perception distorted by fear
Is it the meadow of flowers I paint in my dreams?
A winsome smile forces my lips to part
Thoughts of pleasant changes captured within me
I am unable to free them but doubt still lingers
Apprehensive of the mendacious nature of my heart
She unwittingly deceives
Loves without regard to reciprocation
She dominates
I am no match for her strength
I am subject to her will
Mental chains of steel I use to restrain
But the arrows of cupid still calls
The beauty of two beings intertwined beckons
A longing to live in the painted canvas
Perfect hues, perfect shades

Messy Bessy
Pouty fussy
Screaming crying always *****

Ugly Bessy
Huffy Puffy
Yelling punching kicking kitty

Silly Bessy
Loudy mouthy
Mommy madly gives a slappy

There he was
Laying on his back bleeding
Grass beneath him
In the median, lifeless
Hat still on his head

Quickly I prayed
Breath return to his lungs
Capture the air that now fails him
Heart layed dormant
Not a sound in the chambers

All is still
As the calm before the storm
In the eye of the hurricane
No sounds to be heard
No sense of movement

False sense on serenity
Though now in perfect peace
He rests while sirens blaze
Love that is unfailing
As he sleeps now surround him

Thoughts of his family
On his arrival they wait
Path crossed unaware
They may anger he tarries
Sudden yearning in their hearts

Together we all came
Unable to continue our journeys
Affected by this sight
In this untimely death
Humanity we found

But where were we all
When no one watched
Making sure he safely crossed
In such a hurry we always are
We rather **** than a minute late arrive

Guilt now encircles your soul
Consumed by your mistake
An accident, never you meant to harm
Dreams that now haunt
Blunder everlasting

Slow down dear love
Our brothers are running
His mother is crying
Her son she's buried
Memories of him now fading

Sometimes is seems as though it's easy for us to just walk by
Nonexistent are the pictures of them
Moving, living, breathing
Them, societies refuse
Thrown away and discarded by life
We are no longer our brother’s keeper
Human beings rendered worthless; useless
We move amongst them as a breeze blowing by
Uncaring for all in its path
Rushing to its destination
Our selfish needs to hold on to the little we have
And keep it from those who have none
Not even our "little"
Quickly it has become forgotten
At any moment any of us can be overtaken by hunger
Sweeping over us as garbage in the street
Leaving us bare, empty, hungry
We too can be eluded by shelter
With no one to care
No hands reaching out to help
We too can become a fracture in humanity
I see them peering at me from behind broken spectacles
Shoeless feet in the winter
Suffering in the bitter cold, nowhere to go
Sound the alarm
Our fellow humans are dying!
Not perishing to wounds in battle
Senseless crimes, illness & disease
They're dying of hunger
Exposure to extreme weather
Tantrums of Mother Nature
Sometimes we're afraid
Afraid of the side effects of being homeless
Some become as a Gemini having dual personalities
The person they once were
And the person being homeless
Fighting for every breath of air has made them
The side effect, the other twin
The homeless twin with nowhere to sleep
Our underrated simplicity of going to bed
Let us keep our brothers
In keeping our brothers, it is ourselves that we keep
Safe, fed, protected, secured, sheltered
The right of every human being

Away with you o' wondrous fate
My inner eye perceives with depth
Gazing ghouls of tragic past
Follow the path of wondrous fate

Lips that part with blissful hearts
Pleasant words of sweet allure
Bridges built on time and love
Usher in thou blissful hearts

Serene content the waters deep
Salvage mankind not once to drown
Life abundant swallows crude
New birth abounding in waters deep

Unleashing beauty’s blooming flower
Transforming shadows dancing moon
Joyful embrace of scenery cheer
Henceforth doth spring o' blooming flower

Things of this world last for but a moment
Deluded we look for your love in man
Mind decieved that this world fullfills
In us is not perfection in peace
Grant me your spirit that I too will live
A life of freedom in Him who has sent me

My wounded heart o' lacketh glee
Laughter torments tortured me
Once promised future now dost flee
Oh love I yearn to dwell with thee
Seeking refuge eternally

Darkness is my only vision
My inner sanctuary is full of mourning
Memories crying in the dark
Sobbing as they watch each other die
Widowed shadows of happiness fall to their knees
Weeping over their beloved murdered future
Sadness is unleashed from her prison in the dungeon of misery
The sword of sorrow is in the hands of uncertainty
My heart sits in sack cloth and ashes
Grieving the untimely death of love
Rigamortis sets in the bones of truth
Darkness is my only vision
My inner sanctuary is full of mourning
Memories crying in the dark

Sometimes it doesn't matter who made the mess in your life, what plans the mess ruined and what dreams the mess killed.
It does not matter who dropped the bowl and caused it to break and spill all its contents all over the kitchen floor.
All that matters is the love and relationship remains. The bowl is your life, the break and the spill is the mess that others can sometimes facilitate-make happen easier in your life, the pain that they can cause you.  
All that matters is that in cleaning up the mess, you do it with love.
When the deepest pain is inflicted, clean up the kitchen floor together...in love. No blame, no fault, for it does not matter who dropped the bowl.

Fluttering wings of a butterfly
Awakens the morning
Sleep so deep
The winds blow hello to the sun
The suns shines good day to the birds

Streaming glitter
Suspended laughter
Delayed happiness
Evident abasement
Surmounting fears
Shadows dance in torment

Pleasant gestures
Pretence abundant
Deferred bliss
Creeping obscurity
Empathizing stares
Lured smiles led to drown

Malevolent touch
Masked intentions
Insubordinate emotions
Disappearing identity
Longing spirit
Laughter is beheaded

Joyful wickedness
Jeweled thorns
Loving stabs
Poisoned kisses
Unassuming mortal
Beauty lays dead

Fragmented parts of the person I once was return to me
The dark clouds that once followed me day and night depart from me
I am enchanted by the very thought of freedom
Liberty from the woes that once imprisoned me
Breaking free from the pain I allowed you to inflict
Yes, I allowed
Can man do to me that which I do not consent?
Alas the strength of my mind
My will to attain happiness
To survive and look destruction in the eye and say not so
You shall not destroy me!
I have risen to fight
To take back what is my own
Empowerment besieges me
I will be victorious in all that is set before me
I was on a quest when you slithered in
It was not you that I meant to find
Though pained by our meeting
I still dare say
My journey was triumphant
I found what I did not know that I seek
Strength immeasurable
Infinite power from within
Bitterness I cannot harbor
Only love and peace in knowing you have found joy

The only place I feel safe
When the world has become cold
When all else has failed me
You're the only one that still stands
When wondering this earth alone with not a place to call my own
Not a friend with a shoulder to cry
Not a place with a solace to seek
It is you that finds me
Embraces my soul within
Comforts the turmoil that encircles my existence
Providing your assurance
Your assurance to never deposit more on me than I can bear
Enveloping me as I realize I am naught but mortal man
Cradling me as my essence cries out in affliction
Your peace takes hold of me
Ushering me into your perfect will
Breathing strength into the chambers of my heart
Holding me, I am constricted in your sight
Shielding me in the shadows of your wings
I hear angelic whispers as I lay lethargic
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
Angel wings gently brush against my face
I awake to find all that I am is in all that you are
All of my burdens are cast upon you
My sorrows you have taken
Your serenity you have given
Freely upon me your love eternal now resting

Before I met you, lost was I wondering through the twists and turns of life.
Though not knowing I was lost.
Looking back is as though looking in a mirror into the past and seeing I was incomplete.
You entered my life as a main character takes the stage,
I saw the sun rise...everything illuminated before me.
As a blind man who sees for the first time so my life became.
The happiness I found, never knowing to exist.
Never knowing that the event of one person entering ones life can be paramount.
Never knew of a love that could make me a different me.  
A better me.
I looked into our future and saw infinite possibilities of happiness.
Never seeing the failures, the hurt nor the pain that laid wait in our path.
Today I sit in indescribable pain.
The pain that you can't point to where it hurts.
I want to reach out to you and scream I love you!
Instead of the infinite love and laughter I once saw I now see you with another.
Another love?
I still can't place the events that lead to this place that we now stand.
As I look into that mirror of our past, I never saw me lost without you.
I thought you would be just another flame in the heat of summer.

My heart is as vast as the earth I now stand on.
I love with the might of seas that rage,
In the same manner so my heart breaks.
With rough tumbling crashes of waves pelting my fragile body.
Defenseless to the matters of the heart.
Pain felt in sickness or battle, none can compare.
To the pain that just is, not to be felt in one place, but destroys the whole being.
To be broken hearted is to feel abandoned by love.
The feeling of death though still alive.
Is there a place where we may go to escape the feeling within?
Is there a river where we may go to drown the pain that lingers and threatens to destroy our souls?
The crippling feeling of nothingness taking over with every breath.
Suffocated by the very air that we breathe.
I want to leave this land.
This land that is scorched by tears and agony,
Ravished by betrayal and loss.
Destroyed by the selfishness of man.
My heart longs to go back home.
To the place where danger was unforeseen.
Where love smiled so beautiful.
So beautiful that my strength left me as it did Solomon in the days of old.
As I fell weakened to my knees,
The wraith of murdered love crept in and gutted out my very heart,
Stolen in the night.
My only hope at this hour is that my heart seeks its abode,
And returns to the place where it once slept in the comfort of love.