There's this song
It comes on the radio every so often
and I can't stop thinking of you

It shouldn't
I know that

A song is merely a grouping of notes
formed together to create a chord
glued together with words

but this particular
pattern of notes
gives me shivers each time

I don't know how
a simple melody
can bring someone to tears

But then again
It must be the same
when it comes to a grouping
of bones and blood

It feels as if
I have to grab your shoulders
and shake you senseless
for you to truly understand
how much I love you

it's a lot.

"how are you?"
"fine."

It's routine
you and I

Sometimes I wonder
who you'd react
if I told you the truth

"how are you?"

I want to tell you everything.
I can't stand life anymore
I'm depressed
I'm confused
I'm upset
I'm alone
but never the less

"fine."

I don't think you want to know, really.
you don't really care, do you?
you never will

I think I'll find someone else
maybe he'll care

maybe he'll listen to me
instead of a simple nod
and hug me tightly
when I cry
or stroke my hair
and help me
instead walking away
and leaving me abandoned

"how are you?"
"I don't know."

It's a start.

I saw a program on the telly once
it was about a little girl
my age, I think
or less
she had lost her mum
and right when she was about to find her
the power had shut off
and the telly went dark

I went to find my own mum
I wanted to tell her
about the ******* the telly
but her and daddy were having another row
so I left them alone

I sat in my room instead
with the candle mum had given me
"for emergencies" she said
it was the third time I used it this week

the house was cold
it got like that a lot
when the telly goes dark
and it gets colder when the door swings open
and bangs shut again on it's way closed

she's sitting in bed
my mum is
and she's crying
she says daddy left
like the power on the telly

we moved to an apartment yesterday
mum said it was an adventure
but I have to sleep in the same bed as her
I don't like it much

we sold the telly today
I guess I'll never know
what happened to that little girl
and her lost mum

I wish you would touch me

But not all at once
not aggressively
like you see sometimes in the movies
they go so quickly
that only seems uncomfortable
don't you agree?

I want to be touched subtly

I want you to stroke my hair
and call me dear
I want you to wrap your arms around me
tightly when I'm cold
I want you to move your fingers
in slow circles across my knee
I want you to draw on my back
to show that you're there
and to wrap my fingers in yours
as our arms gently press
and if you like
you could gently sweep your lips
against mine

A touch means so more
than how they portray it in movies
so touch me gently
please

There's a cute little bridge
that crosses a pond
on the other side of town

I don't know when it was made
but the wood is rotten and old
with green mold growing out of each crevice
and the rope barely holds
I feel like it could snap at my slightest touch

I sit on the bridge anyway
and I let my feet plunge in to the tepid water
they make little waves as I slowly twirl my toes
I don't think the fish like it
so I stop

One time I brought a book to the bridge
my friend had lent it to me
it was a love story
he knows they're my favourite
but I dropped it in the water
and it sunk to the bottom
it made me cry

I come to the bridge a lot
to look at the little fish that swim at the surface
I bring them bread
and I watch them take little nibbles
I bet that bread will last them a long time

It started getting cold so I brought my coat
to the bridge today
the water was still
and I looked over the rope
I could see the book
that I dropped last year
it made me think of my friend

I miss him

When I was a little girl
I had a best friend
and her and I
we would bathe together

and we thought about the bubbles
that drifted effortlessly from the surface of the water

and we thought about the warmth
of the water that surrounded us

and we thought about how easily
we could float from one side of the bath to another

and never in a million years did it occur to us
that we were both naked

and it never crossed our minds
how vulnerable we were to each other
or to the world

I think about my best friend sometimes
she's married now
her wife is really beautiful
she sent me a photo

I wonder if she ever thought of me
the way she thinks of her wife
when we bathed together

probably not