Why do i always have to be told
Though indirectly,
but told,
so ******* sarcastically,
with those irritating grins and giggles
'' you know what? you should take part in the beauty contest "

When all i know is that
they have a good reason to
make me feel so on cloud nine for a minute
and down crashing on the ground
with a thud,when i sooner or later
will realise,
no, I've got scars, I've got marks, I've got bruises,
I've got frizzy hair,I've got a skinny bodytype
I've got ordinary clothes, I've got no good pair of heals,like you do.
I dont have the talents to put
makeup on..
duh.


You know it all too well.
i know it,too.
Still,you wanto say it on my face,so that it hits me harder
the time I see myself in the mirror wearing clothes
i feel will make me look alright,just alright.
and then i enter the classroom
seeing all of you guys to be staring at me,
saying,''pooh,you look awesome''
I know why,i know it.

And then as more chicks start to enter,
All I'd want would be to tear my outfit from the middle
throw it away,
rub off that kohl I tried to roughly apply
to kinda accentuate my tiny Asian eyes.


Because all of you guys
look so **** perfect.
so gorgeous.
so rich.
so what we say CLASSY
so IT.

When'll I be enough?
am i always gonna wear those nerdy glasses,
slick back my bangs from my forehead
that hides my scars ..
wear the oversized, boring sweaters,
and pants and shoes,and with books by my side .
Am i never going to be like y'all?

that others want to be like.
who look upto them.

when someone'll be like, ''i wanna be like her"
Can i never be that 'her' ?
can i never get a compliment?
Can i never hold the crown?
or that sachet ?
or the flowers?
or the teddies?
or the hamper?

NO?

i must rather abide with my
unlucky,
hopeless,
shady,
dusky, good-for-nothing
weird life?

Can i never make something out of it,
with my appearance appreciated?
even from people who matter,
from people who live with me
under the same roof?
can ,for once and for all,
i be made feel
enough............
?

I wrote this poem about 4 years before Mandella became president
I post it now as we remember Mandella and the legacy of change that has taken place in S.A.


Out of the darkness of Apartheid and separation came Reconciliation and new ways of beingness have opened up, not only in South Africa but all over the world.
I prayed for peace for South Africa my birth place.
I pray for peace for Israel Palestine and the Middle East where I now live
And I pray for peace throughout our world may we all remember love and may our legacy for our children be one of LOVE


People came to Southern Africa from many lands and many places drawn by their destiny.
They came, bringing with them memories of each place they called home.
They moved deep into the heart of the country engulfing the people already there.
Alas for many many years the nations remained separate and the people suffered.
Great nations from far away who felt the call within their own lands for change called out to the people of South Africa and told them it was time to make changes,
But the hearts of those in power remained hardened.
The Black people became strong and it came to pass that a great need for change arose deep within their hearts -
"Let's break down the barriers" they cried -- but how? They tried to talk, but the words became meaningless,
They tried to fight and many died. Still people went their own separate ways.
There came a time when the winds of change blew from far off lands the winds blew over the mountains.
They blew over the cities and farms. The earth called out to the people
Remember the heart of Africa has many colours, and beats in many different ways
The heart of Africa lies deep within the rhythms of the land.
If within the heart of Africa there is love - peace will reign.
Let each man be free to choose his path, Let each man choose his destiny.
Let the drumbeat of love beat it's rhythms and let the Eternal fire of love cleanse away hurt and sorrow,
And let the rainbow of love colour the nation of the New Africa.

The sounds of the wind as it blew over the land filled hearts with love.
"Love will bring people together it echoed, love will touch all hearts.
And the time will come when each man will be free to be himself -- with love all men will be free.
Children were the first to hear, and they reached out over the barriers and accepted each other,
They looked beyond colour, they let the drumbeat of love beat its rhythm through their hearts,
Until it touched the leaders and those in prisons who were there because they had cried freedom.
They allowed the eternal fire of love to cleanse away the hurt and sorrow,
And let the rainbow of love colour the nation of the new Africa.

Clock stopped ticking
Heart stopped beating
Mind stopped thinking
Soul stopped searching

Eyes start crying
Tears start falling
Dreams start fading
Future's now changing

Started from nothing
Turned into something
A love that's burning
Is now shattering