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kaitlyn-marie Jan 2016
on monday mornings we used to grab each other’s arms
and trace lines from the wrist to the shoulder,
trying to guess when we got touched in the middle.
since our eyes were closed, nobody
had to see my fingers.
pick, rip.
there’s always a name for what plagues you
and mine tasted the same
as charlie brown’s unrequited love.
the only thing that tasted worse
was the word that we couldn’t say out loud.
but on sunday bright and early
they’d grab us by the shoulders
and stare into our eyes until
we repeated those universal truths
what goes up must come down,
don’t swim right after you eat,
even satan knows
that there’s something out there.
kaitlyn-marie Sep 2015
love is carrot launching off the third floor balcony
replacing underwear with oranges
sitting in a circle ten wide playing Mafia
dancing to Steely Dan in the kitchen
pool rafts and cousins and DCOMs
father’s day watching golf on TV with oldies music dance parties
everything but the kitchen sink trail mixes
popsicle parties and two different colors of eye shadow
photoshoots with best friends and “Elephant” on vinyl
secret sharing with sisters on bunk beds
your best friend writing you a poem called “Sail On Silver Girl”
dancing to “Round Here” in the living room when dad came home
matching t shirts and coming home
barefoot drinking black coffee with the windows open
October air and the smell of apples with a hint of cinnamon
singing “rivers and roads” by the fire on the beach with the fireworks
your dad’s friends handing you beers because their own daughters wont drink them
holding hands with somebody you’ve never met before at church
tri-state Netflix movie nights
your grandpa noticing that your eye makeup is different
hearing “poor man’s son” live and acapella
the movie Fired Up and how it never gets old
love is the sound of laughter and never saying uncle .
kaitlyn-marie Mar 2015
I spoke too soon again,
I've changed my mind.
some worlds just aren't meant to collide.
I opened the bottle and you overdrank,
but, then again, your twenty first
birthday was yesterday.
kaitlyn-marie Mar 2015
I watched a scary movie
the night silver girl ran away
because I knew nothing could scare me
any more.
kaitlyn-marie Jan 2015
when I was nine, my brother Tommy and I used to walk by old South Bend Sammy on our way home from Sunday school. I used to give him half of my allowance every other Sunday, because I figured that was what God intended.

Sammy would send me inside of the neighborhood grocery store to buy him some sterno for a buck 50. I always wondered what he could possibly have to cook, with him being homeless and all.
I never asked him, but every other week, as promised, there I was delivering the sterno.

when I asked my daddy, he told me that old South Bend Sammy was cooking his insides. “that stuff’ll **** em one day, so don’t go wastin’ your money on a man like that,” he said, but I did it anyway.

when I was eleven, old South Bend Sammy was found dead on his corner. He died on Christmas day. Bobby Richardson, who was in the eleventh grade, told us that he saw the body before they carted em off. Said his uncle killed em accidentally when he threw his cigarette **** on the ground by Sammy's feet. Poor old Sammy was burned like someone was fixin’ to make a barbeque.

but Lisa Jameson’s daddy was a cop, and he said that old Sammy died from an old fashioned case of a heat poisoning.
“I didn’t know that heat could poison you” I asked my daddy later that night. “darlin’, it can if you drink it.”
this was inspired by Bukowski's poem "canned heat." I looked into it, and it turns out that homeless people in Philadelphia used to use Sterno as a cheap substitute for alcohol. In 1963, 31 people died because of the consumption of "canned heat."
kaitlyn-marie Jan 2015
my cousin started hoarding all of my things.
she has my old iphone cases even though she's six.
she almost took a necklace from me, but I stood my ground
for the first time in a long time and I told her that
that stupid piece of jewlery had sentimental value.
she helped me search my dresser drawers for a new chain.
she can't quite see over the kitchen counter, but **** is she smart.
she's the kind of girl who can tell if you're bullshitting her,
but she still believes in fairytales.
she will hug you on the couch when she knows that you need it
and watch your favorite childhood movies with you,
even though she makes you fast forward through the scary parts
and I am so lucky to love her.

when I was five, I met my best friend
in the back of a kindergarten classroom.
we have matching clothes even though
she was morally against that until I came along
and she will cater to your musical needs
even when she's the one who's driving.
we want to **** each other when we go on road trips,
but ****, is she smart.
I don't know if she still believes in fairytales,
but I think that she might be my soulmate.
she will buy you lipstick that she thinks will look good on you
and makes sure that you get home okay,
even though you've only been separated
for ten minutes anyway
and I am so lucky to love her.
kaitlyn-marie Dec 2014
my aunt told me that the good thing about pain
is that you can remember it after it's gone,
but you can never recreate the feeling.
I think this is why I kept going back for more.
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