There is something feminine of smudged lipstick
And mascara that runs down and away, from the victims eyes fall under
In seeing things that should never be witnessed,
I have grown to admire the inevitable of perfect being impossible
And grown to admire the imperfections that we withhold
But what i have grown to despise
To hate with each and every inch of my being
Is eating, or in the women's sense not eating
Making sure that our bodies fit into others standards
To immature to realise differences is beauty
The act of normalising women into standards
That mostly come from those who needs to fit into standards themselves
I am only a woman when i see tears down my cheeks in the mirror
In having to make sure walking in the dark, i am not alone
Or having to make sure an outfit i feel me in, is not asking for it
Or having to keep a look out constantly, while trying to have fun
And no matter the days i skip meals,
Nor the amount of days i put makeup on
Or straighten or curl my hair
I still feel the most feminine while i look back at someone i don't recognise
Only because i like to follow trends
Of what other women are doing with themselves
Never taking time to believe that i am enough
The way i was born, the way that i am
I hate how i'm told to hate the body that does not match with society
But i loathe it even more when i'm told i should love my body,
That's when i feel the most feminine
In not having control over my body,
But rather everyone else having control over it
Taking choices that should be mine away
Making my choices for me
Its like my own body is not even mine
That's when i feel like a woman
With mascara stained eyes
And smudged lipstick
In never feeling pretty
No matter how i try to manipulate my body.