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I am a lighthouse
       or so I’ve been told
where few ships have sailed
in to find guidance.

I have been waiting
for a vessel to see my light
for a captain to come to shore
for the tides to wash up
        something more than
        a seashell
        a jellyfish
        an empty bottle
                with love letters drenched
                in tears and seawater
                (I couldn’t tell the difference)

I am a lighthouse
Please remember me
in the storm
and on cloudless nights
       when all the stars are
       irresistible in their glory
Remember me
as the place you come home to
Where you can let yourself in
(feel free to put your feet up)
and lay your head back
and let out a sigh that won’t
        be whipped away by ocean-saturated air

I am a lighthouse
in the middle of nowhere
Ships have wrecked themselves
on broken boulders that line my body
like a jealous widow, like a marked territory
Few have made it through.
None have ever stayed.
But my lamp is still burning
and my tower stands tall
and I will guide your journey,
        even if it means pointing over there
        when all I want is for you to stay here.
1
Familiar empty feeling has now changed to be a comfort,
Routine will always get me by.
This self indulgent feeling can not go for any longer
Ive always been too proud to cry.

But not right now, Ive got no time as I get ready for the day
Put on my socks, my shoes, my smile
Always been my saving grace.
2.
My eyes will be heavy,
My body lay still,
The pain in my chest
Douses flames with my will.

You do not know
Of that I've made sure
So your image of me
Remains untainted and pure.

If you tore me apart
And looked from inside
You'd see pain and disgust
Embarrassment and pride

So please leave me be
4
I try to write an epic poem
But all that comes when my soul breaks
Is seeing you wrapped up in blankets
Waiting upon your heartbreak

Routinely expecting false hope, false  courage
False everything that we all hold dear
For somebody else to say we're stupid
For holding hope in our our thoughts so clear

I try to write an epic poem
That will resinate with the masses beyond
But all that will happen, from here and now
Is that we will wait, not in ocean but pond.
5
Me and them
Them and me
Seems simple
Im cowardly

Just go say hi
Just start to smile
I will, I promise
Just in a while

Check the time
Now pretend to text
Its me I know it
Im needed next

All the topics
They're all taken
Eye contact
No Im mistaken
imperfection is real...
complicated and sloppy
reality of life
slowly dying
in search of perfection
I once met a girl much prettier than me
she didn't care
and said that she didn't agree

she said she wanted to be my friend
and I sighed
not wanting to go through this again

she told me her secrets and showed me her soul
and I tried
to block out the pain that overflowed

she found me and fixed me
the way that she pleased
and threw away things that made me me

she gave me some scars to match  her own
and laughed
as I wished for the comfort of home

but I abandoned my home for the girl that I knew
and couldn't return
and didn't know what to do

now I'm stuck with the girl that ruined my mind
I have nowhere to go
I have nowhere to hide
Forty feet above the flowers,
we revealed scars from
past self harm.
He listened to
the reasons I cross my arms
in front of my chest,
to protect my heart.

They were glossy he said,
my eyes never could mask my emotions.
He pulled me in
and rubbed my back.
We were both broken half's.

I believed his words when,
he told me I was young
and it didn't matter,
one kiss
is all it was
between friends.

He questioned
if it was the song bring the tears
because it spoke about being there
for someone forever,
even in their absents.
I shook my head,
for leaving doesn't make me sad.
He asked if it was him,
I shook my head again.

He cradled me in his arms.
Wiped the tears
from my cheek with his white t.
The tears were for the same
reasons as the scars.

My eyes were daggers he said,
and it's because
I was destroying the invisible insides with razors.
my heart is ice cold
I am void of all emotions
who can tell me , that its going to be okay
my heart you took and tore into pieces

who am I in this wretched world
I look around , I want to reach out but they is no one
I have lost hope , I have loved once ,twice infinity I was reaching
I let go of all my inhibitions

I lived again, I loved again because I had you
I gave you the power to hurt me
look at me now I am a shadow of myself
we live to love ,to cry , to laugh
I guess you were never mine
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