I never really knew what love meant
Until the day we met
And I am still not sure that I could ever piece together our lives intertwining and find the places where we clicked and the places we did not
You changed me in some ways without really changing me at all
I could feel each and every time you would cling with hooks piercing my skin holding me from something or pulling me to someone else
You wouldn't let me destroy myself but you let me have a front row seat to your deterioration
And then you left
And I am still not quite sure if you ever felt the same connection as I did
Or if I was merely a project for you to spend some time on

I run away from emotions,
Like a little girl would run from a snake
But I am still a little ******* the inside.
Never having overcome her fears,
Of losing someone,
And forgetting them.
So when I see your eyes well up,
And you whisper
"This song reminds me..."
I run,
And sometimes I don't want to come home

you're calm
or so it seems
because if the eyes are the keys to the soul
your eyes are merely keys
to doors that lead to a much more elaborate maze
of thoughts and feelings
that I cannot even fathom
like the stars in the sky making constellations
that more resemble webs than images
your thoughts connect making grander ideas
that I can only imagine will be the start
of our generation of geniuses
whether you take that because of your IQ
or because of your craftsmanship that can one day change lives

you make my heart beat
but not with love
but with longing to one day
see with a mind so vast and open
to ideas and possibilities
that make the gears that were once rusted
to be oiled again
and to love with a heart
that even when hate is thrown towards it
it reflects and only feels the warmth
of friendship and wholeness
and even when you see yourself with dark eyes
you can turn yourself around and think about tomorrow and how it brings a new beginning
you're your own monument of self hatred
but someone's idol of self acceptance
and as confusing as it seems
it is nothing but the truth