I know the way you held the tears in,
How they swam like an ocean in your eyes,
But still you would not let them fall,
Didn't want anyone to see you cry.

And I know now why you kept such a straight face,
You told me one night when we were drunk.
You said that people look ugly when they cry,
And that you didn't want to ruin your make-up.

But your face wasn't all that crumpled on that cold December night,
No, you went flying through the wind shield,
there was no beauty, no dignity in that lost fight,
On the night that you were killed.


And I wish I could say that they miss you now,
But truth is you're just another pretty face,
Forgotten almost as soon as you hit the ground,
Almost a week from that cold December day.

So I'll write another poem about your vanity,
The price you paid to keep your pain in,
But I cannot write about beauty you see,
Because the line between beauty and tragedy,
Is only paper thin...

You had perfectly plastic skin
              So so clear and shiny and pretty


                     And red ruby lips
                      That you painted
           Just like those pictures on your wall
                            Made of sharp crystal pieces

 That shone and caught the light when you spoke

                                                           And your words flowed from that beautiful mouth like waterfalls

                                Like the tears that fell from your eyes
                                Except, they would cut themselves on your ruby painted lips
                                                            ­
  And a thousand jagged pieces
                                        
                                              would land
                                                        stra­ight into my
                                                              ­                     heart

I gave your voice to the sun
I tried to catch the stars in my hands
But they fell through and cut me
Sliced my fingers into two

There is nothing in the sky but your silence
Looks like the sun burned the sound of music away
And the stars sparkle on the floor from when they landed here
As for me I am nowhere
Nowhere

I tried to give your voice to the sun
But the sound of music burned away
And the stars, they fell one by one
Cut my hands away
Tried to give you to the sun

Our moon is incompatible
November's cold and grey
You have ***** fingernails
Whereas I try to wash the dirt away

And what I once thought was music
Was just the sound of a thousand shattering stars
And what I once thought was beautiful
Was merely a thousand glittering scar's

You are a silly little man-child
And I am just a little girl
But as for me, I am tired
Of the blunt beauty of this world

I am on Pluto dear
You are on Mars
We sold each other out honey
We destroyed the stars

I watched my father from a distance
Being mauled by a bear
And even from this far away
In his eyes i could see fear
Pure ******* fear

I listened to lucy tell me
The worst thing Ive ever heard
About how 2 men grabbed and  ***** her
Is that worse than being mauled?

I do not know
But i guess they mustve screamed
So loudly into the distance
She was only thirteen

Only thirteen
And I was twelve at the time
I asked her if it hurt
I should’ve known better
Instead I made it worse

I met Daniel at a party
He showed me his scars
He said his father shot himself
So he decorates his arms

And monica paints pictures
Of skies so beautifully blue
Though she herself is dying
Just skin and bones and truth

I asked her if she found it
In all the painting’s she created
Did you find Daniels father?
Was he cremated?
Did you find Lucy’s innocence?
Unburdened her of her shame?
Can your paintbrush do that?
Can it make you sane?

What about my mother
Does she have a say
Can she ever get back
What was lost that day?

Can you paint my eyes
So they un-see what was seen
Can you paint the sounds
Of Lucy's silent screams
Can you paint Daniels arms
Make the scar's disappear?
Can a ******* painting
Ever make things all clear?

The curisoisty that satisfaction bred
is nothing but a lie inside your head
Or should i say the satisfaction that curiosity led
Is nothing but a mistaken feeling
inside your demented head

And you ponder each question
with such thoughtful insight
but dont you know honey
what you dont understand, you only fight

And dont you know little one
that while the worlds about to turn
your just a speck of dirt
under the burning sun?

Im sorry if you feel so small
So insufficient to the world
but take comfort in the fact that there's 7 billion other people
Who feel like that, girl

Didnt you know sweetheart?
That your just a footprint in the sand?
And when the tide comes crashing in
Youll be gone, nowhere to be found

Your the sound in the forest
That a falling tree makes
And if theres no one there to hear it
then it didnt really break

You create something false, so easily broken
to replace a concience thats just non existent
and im sorry you feel so worthless
But i cant find a lie that truth invented.

Theres 3 sides to the story
but i think mine is true
theres only one way something happens
But then again so do you

And you cry on the carpet,
Just loud enough to be heard
Well all your dreaming, its nothing
Wipe the stains from your eyes, get the water off the rug
Because death you see is a beginning
And when I told you such things
You suddenly got still, and I thought it was a breakthrough
But then you raised your head up and howled
The way a mother wolf does to an owl
A scream so full of painful meaning

Your words rang bitter and they rang true
Your eyes spilled water, and so did you
and you said "You don't know that, no one ever did,
certainly no one that's come back to live,
its a lie that you tell, to yourself when you dream,
but you most certainly don't know ANYTHING"

And then the carpet disappeared
with all of her tears
But the ringing in my head did never stop
And now i scream from the floor
from the same spot she was before
And i cry for new beginnings

And for the innocence Ive lost
in my tormented youth
the low blows I aimed at the ceiling
Yeah, its the end of a new beginning

The end
The end
of
nothing

You tried to make a model,
So perfectly true,
And tried to paint a masterpiece,
With every single hue.

But the mannequin was fragile,
The picture too dark,
On her face there was no smile,
In her eyes no spark.

I appreciate your artistic hand,
But the colors are all wrong,
Did you forget the world is bright?
And life is but a song?

Or did you wake up one morning,
And everything was grey?
Have you finally figured out,
The words you shouldn't say?

Did you awake one late afternoon,
Realized it was still dark, and fell back to snooze?
But sleep did not come, so you waited for the sun to rise,
Ans when it didn't, you didn't weep, you weren't even surprised.

Is it like a world devoid of color?
Of happiness and taste?
Where food has no flavor?
And you have plenty of time to waste?

Because I think I know the feeling,
Of being trapped in a deep dark hole,
And your not sure what it is your seeing,
Your just sure you don't want anyone t know.

Well my friend, my fellow human,
We all bleed this way,
So take it easy buddy,
Because you wont he helped along the way.