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Ochre Feb 2010
My
guilt-
stricken
sighs
made
the
air
real
dry

I
told
you
not
to
breathe in
for
these
next
few
lies
are
the
ones
you
should
believe in

Where
I went,
we've
never
been

Doesn't
matter
what
but
who
I
did

I
guess
I am
not
worth
the drama
anymore

It's
been
pretend
worth
an Oscar
after
all
Now
let
me
go
get
my role
Ochre Feb 2010
The things
you're afraid to know
are
the things
you fear
you already know

But then again

you could be wrong

I could be misleading

and both of us could be in

for a surprise
Ochre Feb 2010
My mind is nothing but cluttered
and thoughts can't be clearly uttered

I will try to write these lines
as good as
one at a time
'cause I want you to understand
what I can't

These are "truths"
but these are "wrongs"
I've been trying to bend
and I've known all along
they tolerate no force,
they tolerate no intervention

I'm the best at holding on
I'm the best at letting loose-
this time I don't know
which one
to choose...

...But take my hand, anyway
'cause it makes me a little less confused

I am now verging on clear and obscure;
These troubles have your name on them...

If I am sick,
I really suspect I am,
then you are my disease-
I'll do nothing,
I'll let you linger,
my prognosis will be poor
and hell yes!
You'll stay forever...
Or if not, at least until
the day I die
which
I hope
won't come too soon

I know you can't see
the road
I've been walking on
nor the signs
that
I've been ignoring
just to get a glimpse
of your world
and what's in it for me

If doing this makes you
look like a kid in a candy store,
then I'll paint all these lights green,
cross the wrong street,
get a clearer view-
a clearer picture of you,
and convince myself
that I did not *****
the Stop sign for nothing


and now we get to the bottom line:








I am a minor. A little less wine on my sangria..
Ochre Feb 2010
my nightly escape...
I'll lie down, shut my eyes
and my world is my own again,
and you're all over it again...
I'll dream of you again
and wish for eternal sleep
where lies my perpetual bliss
where lies my favorite kind of high
where lies my 'would rathers'
which are my 'will nevers'
as soon as I hear the alarm
Ochre Jan 2010
I'll see you tomorrow.

There are only 2 things I am

looking forward to

-sleeping

and

-not waking up.

Good night, endless good night.

Dusk be the last thing I lay my eyes on.
Ochre Dec 2009
My thoughts have been making me struggle...
I don't know what I want.
But I know what I shouldn't say...
I shouldn't say anything I can't live up to...
I shouldn't say anything about how I feel
because how I feel changes everyday...
my truth changes everyday...
which one prevails? yesterday's?
today's? the following day's?
I don't know.

I want to get out..

Forget about the truth - the truth is crazy.
What's right is what matters.
The right thing to do is to pretend
you haven't done anything to me.
..pretend that you don't matter..
I wish my brain would skip
every little thing that comes down to you
whenever it thinks.....

You may be my impossible dream...
But you' re not my unthinkable thought...
though you should be..
as much as I need you to be...
I can still picture you with me..
It's not an unimaginable scene...

You should be history to me.
Today is a new day...
But there's nothing new...
I wake up and you're here again...
I'm stuck again,
with your more than perfect image...
like you're right before my eyes..
It's obvious enough that these four walls
didn't crush my head...

They didn't..

But I'm thinking of you..I'm seeing you...

I'm not totally fine, after all.

Fact is I'm not fine, after all.


But I have to be.
But I don't know when.
Ochre Dec 2009
You're a one tough case to crack.
But with those eyes you can get away with almost anything;
you can get away with taking what's mine -
I won't even call it stealing.
You can get away with being in my head all the time-
you've taken my heart so why not dominate what's left?
You can get away with being an enigma .
You can get away with being a conundrum…
Not a known word deserves you,
compares to you, and is in your league…
I'll never know what 'you' really mean...
And I couldn't care less…
'cause you already mean to me.

— The End —