I live in constant fear. Excruciating fear of not being able to fulfill my dreams. A fear of failing without trying,a feeling of falling without dying. Something unfinished and painful that’s what living in vain is for. The constant fear of putting on my shoes and living another day in the parade. This world in a shape of heart but carton something so significant yet so artificial. that’s what it’s like to die alive in your head. I fear the hours I must spend in these walls abandoned by my hopes and my passions. A constant fear. Constant nausea filled in my head. Dizziness of the mind, dizziness of the soul. I know I can’t recover from the seconds lost but there must be a way to return to the past. I stare and dare to look at what’s not there and all the stones I must bear. The weight in the everyday care, I can’t stand this ******* routine. I wanna blow my brains out and paint the walls with my blood. I want to yell at this world with the screams of my blood splattered all over the walls. I want to make them see, how free you can be, when you are no longer in your head. I want to show them that there’s something more than living, it’s dying. I want to show them and have them see, who the true ruler can be. Cause death is the only god in this place, and you don’t need an alternate plane to see that it’s clear as day. I’m sick of these clowns walking around in oversized shoes made out of stacks of money, I’m sick of the targets and  knives flying. I want to ***** everytime I think of the Ferris wheel of the crying and the agony of the stunt man staring at the floor who’s just waiting for his landing. Everything is filled with ***** everything filled with escrements of the lost souls forgotten in the lights and laughs of the clowns. Sell yourself to survive, sell yourself for a couple more of fresh breaths. It’s only worth trying. Wake up, shower, do your makeup, dress appealing to the eye, talk appealing to the ears, act appealing to the heart , all is appeal. Live only to satisfy, Live to agree, it’s the only way to succeed. I live in constant fear. Fear of losing talent, fear of losing touch, fear of losing truth and fear of losing much.